


I Know You've Got Mountains to Climb (Always Stay Humble and Kind)

by PieAnnamay07



Series: Still the Man He was Before [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Artist Steve Rogers, Assistant Darcy Lewis, Darcy is Steve's Guide to the 21st Century, De-Serumed Steve Rogers, Dealing With Loss, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heart to Hearts, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, Living Together, Mind Control Aftermath and Recovery, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Physical Limitations, Platonic Love, Post Avengers (2012), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Romantic love, Self-Esteem Issues, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Snowed In, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Supportive Avengers, Team as Family, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-09-12 23:32:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9095503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PieAnnamay07/pseuds/PieAnnamay07
Summary: After a mission that was supposed to be straightforward and easy, Steve is de-serumed.Darcy wants to help him cope as best she can.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to wineandroses for the encouragement!  
> This was originally going to be somewhat short, but I kept getting ideas. The plan is to make this a pretty long fic.  
> There will be a lot of tropes, so keep an eye out!  
> I'll try to update frequently, but I'm not sure how frequently. I'm going to write at least a bit every day.

The first time Darcy officially met Steve Rogers, she was helping Jane move her equipment into the new, shiny lab that Tony Stark had provided the two of them to work in.

She was huffing, trying to move a heavy box. Jane didn’t want other people touching the equipment, she was afraid someone would break one of her machines. Darcy was sweaty and out of breath.

“Excuse me, ma’am, do you need some help?” A male voice asked from behind her.

Darcy’s head turned, and she blinked her eyes in surprise. Captain America was watching her with a concerned look on his face. He glanced from her to the box she was trying to lift, then to the multiple piles of other boxes stacked haphazardly beside her.

“Uh, thanks. Yeah, I could really use the help.” Darcy told him, smiling somewhat shyly.

She had seen Captain America on TV, of course, battling the alien invasion alongside Thor and the other Avengers. She had studied he and the other Howling Commandos in her high school history class, the same as everyone else. His pictures had been in black and white, but Darcy could tell that Steve was a very determined and driven man.

Darcy could feel her face flush in self-conscious embarrassment at her sweaty and disheveled state.

“Where are you taking these boxes to?”

“I’m taking them to Dr. Foster’s lab.” Darcy explained, finally managing to shift the box she was attempting to carry.

“Dr. Foster?” Captain America inquired, looking a bit confused.

“Jane Foster. She’s an astrophysicist.”

Darcy knew most people didn’t know who Jane was. If they did know, a lot of them still thought she was a crackpot. Tony Stark’s interest in them was because of Thor, Darcy was sure. The miraculous offer to work in Norway had been a diversion tactic to get Jane and, subsequently, Darcy, to safety for Thor’s benefit. The two women had watched, horrified, as aliens attacked New York City, led by none other than Loki. Thor had shown up, and Jane had been so angry. Darcy had been angry, too. It was ridiculous that Jane had only been approached to work in Norway just to get her out of New Mexico and out of the United States entirely.

They both had wanted to get to New York as soon as possible, but they had been forced to complete several more days of research before they could leave. By the time they had finally gotten back in to the US and then to NYC, Thor had been long gone.

Then, before Darcy and Jane had even had time to worry about where they would be staying or where they would go next, Tony Stark had found them and offered a place to stay and unlimited funding.

Both Jane and Darcy had been suspicious, at first, and Stark (“Call me Tony, ladies.”) had told them he wanted to get in contact with Thor, and Jane’s research was key.

They had accepted, a little reluctantly. Darcy had been surprised, again, when Tony had also offered to pay her. She would still help Jane, but she was no longer an unpaid intern; she was now a paid assistant. He had also offered to have Jane’s equipment brought to Stark Tower, but Jane had outright refused to part with her equipment for any reason.

The fact that they had gotten it all back to the states in tact had been a miracle.

Now, they were bringing it all to Stark Tower by themselves. They had gotten the junky van filled with boxed up machines and now were transferring it all to their lab.

“We, uh, met Thor.” Darcy felt herself grin at the reminder of Thor.

Even though Thor had up and left without so much as a hello, Darcy still considered him a friend.

“Ah, Stark — Tony — mentioned that.”

Darcy blinked. “Oh, Tony sent you to help us?”

Steve blushed, but nodded.

“I’m Steve Rogers, by the way.” He held out a hand for Darcy to shake.

Darcy stared for a second, before she carefully set the box she was holding awkwardly down.

She shook Steve’s hand.

“I’m Darcy Lewis, Jane’s assistant.”

Steve smiled at her. Darcy could feel the controlled strength in his handshake. Firm enough to be felt, but not crushing her hand.

Darcy was struck, suddenly, by the fact that Steve, with the super soldier serum flowing through his veins, was one of the strongest men on the planet. Thor might be stronger than him, but Thor was an alien, so he didn’t really count, in Darcy’s mind. The amount of control Steve had to have over himself, as to not hurt anyone, was astounding.

“It’s nice to meet you, Miss Lewis.” Steve told her, expression serious.

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Steve.” Darcy hoped her face wasn’t flushed.

“How about I help you with these?” Steve asked, motioning to the piles of boxes. “It’ll get done faster.”

Darcy nodded, smiling at him. “Thanks for helping, Steve. I really appreciate it.”

She tried, and failed, not to stare at Steve’s muscles as he bent and lifted several heavy boxes in his arms.

“Do you mind, uh, showing me where to take these, Miss Lewis?” Steve asked her, face flushing with embarrassment.

“Yeah, I’ll show you. You can just call me Darcy, you know.”

Darcy picked up a lighter box, since Steve was helping, he could get the heavy ones, and he wouldn’t even really feel the strain. Darcy swallowed, glancing down at Steve’s arms.

Steve smiled at her, and Darcy led the way toward Jane’s lab.

The serum was a miracle. It had turned Steve from a skinny, sick man with multiple medical problems into a tall, capable, strong man. It had enhanced everything within him, his physical body was just a manifestation of that enhancement.

Darcy had seen pictures of Steve before he had gotten the serum. He hadn’t been bad looking, but 1940’s attitudes and the medical knowledge at the time had prevented him from finding employment often.

There were treatments and medication, in this day and age, that could help Steve, if he had been born in 1986 instead of 1918.

It was fortunate that Steve had the serum, though. He would have never gotten into the US army otherwise, and wouldn’t be here, now, alive and well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts so far?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your comments and kudos! It' really means a lot to me that you like this fic.

Darcy and Steve’s friendship had quickly solidified after their first meeting.

Darcy could make Steve laugh, and explain pop-culture references he didn’t understand, or point him in the right direction so he could find the information himself.

Darcy knew that Steve felt out of place in the modern world, and she didn’t blame him at all for feeling that way. Things had changed so much since 1945. Steve had so much to catch up on, Darcy wasn’t sure he could cover everything.

She was helping where she could. Going with him to the public library to borrow books; going with him to the movie theater to see new movies; watching TV shows together; helping him understand computers, cell phones and the internet. One of the first things she had done was to buy him an iPod and load it up with music. Classical to 2012 current hits, she crammed as much music as she could onto it.

Tony had offered Steve an e-reader, but Steve wanted to read physical books first.

Darcy felt appreciated, liked by a guy for her friendship, not her figure. Most guys only saw her chest.

Steve was sweet, nice in a way that guys in the current day just weren’t. There had been some initial awkwardness after they had gotten the boxes to she and Jane’s lab. Steve had said goodbye to her, and Darcy had been sure she would barely see him after that.

*

_“Darcy?”_

_“Steve, hi!” Darcy greeted him, smiling. “How are you?”_

_“I’m doing okay. Just… a lot of things to catch up on.” Steve grimaced. “Seventy years is a long time.”_

_Darcy winced, trying to project empathy. She couldn’t fully understand what Steve was going through, but she could try her best._

_“Yeah, it’s a lot.” Darcy answered. “Do you… need any help? Catching up with things?” She offered._

_“I have a list of things people have told me to look into.” Steve reached into his jeans pocket and withdrew a small notebook. Darcy blinked at it. She wondered if he had multiple notebooks, because that one was… so small._

_“That’s good.” Darcy told Steve, trying not to show her slight incredulity._

_“I know it’s not much yet.” Steve blushed, putting the notebook back in his pocket._

_“The offer’s still on the table, Steve. You could totally get more done if I helped you, dude.”_

_Steve frowned. “I don’t want to bother you, Darcy. I can do it myself.”_

_“You wouldn’t be bothering me, Steve, I offered.”_

_Steve nodded his head, still looking a bit unsure._

_“Okay, what do you think we should do first, then, Steve?” Darcy asked, grinning at him._

_“Well… I think music would be fine to start with. I was going to just… look up the things that people mentioned.”_

_“I’ve got you, Steve. You need an iPod. I can put music on it, I have a lot of music.”_

_Steve smiled, looking relieved. He would see what a huge help Darcy could be._

*

After Steve’s music situation had been sorted out, Darcy introduced him to movies and TV shows she liked. She also took into consideration Steve’s tastes.

They were making slow progress through the decades Steve had missed. Darcy was happy to help him.

*

“I still think it’s pretty ironic that your birthday is the Fourth of July.” Darcy commented, poking Steve gently with a finger.

She had learned through trial and error not to poke him too hard; her finger would not thank her for it.

It had only been a few weeks since they had met, but Darcy was feeling more comfortable with Steve than anyone else.

She and Jane had a friendship, too, but Darcy often felt that Jane saw her as slightly annoying. Darcy supposed that, if Jane really was annoyed with her, she would have found a new assistant by now.

“A lot of people say that.” Steve told her, wincing slightly. “It lends to the image of Captain America.”

Darcy nodded, “It does. I just thought it was kind of ironic.”

“I’m not denying that it’s ironic.”

“Do you have any plans for your birthday?” Darcy asked.

“I… don’t know. Tony said he wants to throw a party. A sort of ‘welcome back party, while also being a birthday party” kind of thing.” Steve winced.

“Tony’s trying. That’s a good thing. I know it is. It seemed like it might be a little much, though.” Darcy said carefully. She didn’t want to upset Steve.

“I know he’s trying, and I appreciate it, I really do. My first encounter with him on that helicarrier wasn’t the best first impression for either of us.” Steve explained.

“Have you tried talking to him? Explain your feelings about the party? He might listen… maybe.” Darcy suggested, wincing slightly.

“The thing is, I know he’s trying so hard to make things right with everyone. He offered his home to all of us, gives us anything we would need and offers upgrades to things. It’s only been about a month and a half since we fought the invasion and Loki.”

“I have an idea. If you don’t necessarily tell Tony to scale the party back a bit, how about you and I just… do something after?” Darcy offered, face flushing.

She liked Steve, he was one of her closest friends, even though it had only been a short amount of time that they had known each other. She wanted to spend all of her time with him.

“We can do that, Darcy. I’d really like that, actually. It sounds nice.” Steve smiled. “If Tony’s party runs too late, we can do something the next day.”

Darcy nodded, smiling back. Excitement caused butterflies to flutter in her stomach.

She would plan something fun for the two of them to do together.

*

The party that Tony threw for Steve — and the other Avengers — was a major success. Darcy had been a bit anxious about it, if she was honest with herself. Tony had hyped it up, telling anyone who would listen just how great this party was going to be.

There had been good music, good food, good drinks… not nearly as many people as Darcy had thought there would be for a Tony Stark party. She had actually enjoyed herself a lot.

Jane and she had both been invited, along with some people Darcy hadn’t known. She had convinced Jane to loosen up a bit, and both girls had had a lot of fun.

Darcy had also hung out with the guest of honor, Steve. He had looked slightly uncomfortable, but had put on a brave face. Darcy could tell it was getting to him, though.

She had tried to convince him to dance with her, a little, but he had blushed and muttered that he couldn’t dance. Darcy had thought about pushing him, wanted to explain that no one would really care and that dances were so much different than the ones he had been used to growing up. She hadn’t, though. The look in Steve’s eyes had stopped her. He had looked so sad, conflicted and lost.

If they hadn’t been in public, Darcy would have wanted to give him a hug. It hadn’t taken her long to notice that Steve was a very tactile person. He liked being touched, liked having someone he trusted near him. Darcy, herself, was the same way, once she got to know someone well enough. Steve didn’t particularly like doing much in public, though. In private, the two of them would sit close to each other, arms brushing every time one of them moved.

Steve also had an aversion to the cold. Darcy had suspected he might. He liked being warm. Darcy was excited for September, when she could take him sweater shopping.

*

Darcy’s surprise for Steve the next day was a hit.

She had taken him to a museum of art history. She knew, from all of their interactions over the past few weeks, that he really liked art.

“This is amazing, Darcy.” Steve pointed at an exhibit, face splitting into a happy smile that made Darcy’s own lips smile back at him in the same excitement.

“I know it is, Steve. That’s why I brought you here. I was sure you’d like it.”

“I do like it.” Steve assured, still smiling.

This was the happiest Darcy had seen him since meeting him. Sure, Steve would smile, but he was still sad, still trying to cope with the fact that everyone he knew was dead. He had found out that Peggy Carter was alive, but he hadn’t gone to see her yet.

Steve’s excitement over this made Darcy feel like she’s done the right thing. Steve needed more excitement in his life.

The two of them chatted idly as they made their way through the museum, Steve pointing out the exhibits he liked and asking Darcy her opinion on each one.

*

August passed in a haze of heat and humidity. It sort of reminded Darcy of New Mexico. She supposed summers would always remind her of the time she and Jane had spent in the dessert, collecting data.

She missed Thor. She had only known him for a few days, but Darcy got attached to people quickly.

She and Steve hung out as often as possible. The Avengers still had missions, after all.

Thanks to the serum, Steve was never really injured. If he even got a bruise or scratch on him, it was gone by the time they got back to Stark Tower.

Tony had talked about wanting to rename the tower to ‘Avengers Tower’, but he hadn’t gotten around to it yet. The team was close, working much better with each other than when they had first formed.

Darcy’s job as Jane’s assistant was easy. She was doing the things she had already done. The only real difference was that she occasionally worked with Tony or Bruce. She primarily worked with Jane, though. She transcribed notes, made sure Jane ate, slept and took care of herself.

She really loved working here in the tower.

*

Darcy had noticed how much control Steve had to have over himself the first time they met. He was so strong, he could easily hurt someone if he wasn’t careful.

This was made perfectly clear one night in late August, when the two of them were hanging out, watching movies and eating snacks.

Steve ate a lot. He had to, his body consuming so many calories in order to keep him in top condition.

Darcy always bought a lot of food. Tony was paying her well, she could afford to buy food for her friend. Steve would sometimes bring things, trying to make it even. He had wanted to bring all of the food, at first, but Darcy had told him it wouldn’t be fair if he always brought it. She had realized she was being hypocritical, wanting to get the snack food every time they hung out. They had compromised, switching who brought what each time they hung out.

The two of them had been watching _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone_. Darcy had insisted Steve read the Harry Potter books before they watched the movies. She personally thought the books were better than the movies, but she had some family members who loved the movies more than the books, so it was possible.

Steve had been paying more attention to the screen, where Harry, Ron and Hermione had just discovered Fluffy. Without thinking, he had reached to get another drink of his soda.

“Shit!” Darcy exclaimed.

She wasn’t sure what happened. One second, Steve had been reaching for his drink, then the next, there was soda all over the carpet and Steve’s shirt. The can, Darcy noticed, was completely crushed.

“God, Darcy, I am so sorry.” Steve apologized, cringing. He got to his feet quickly, and went to Darcy’s kitchen to get some paper towels.

“I… It’s okay, Steve.” Darcy got up, too, wanting to give Steve room to clean up the sticky mess.

“I just… that doesn’t happen anymore, Darcy. I’m more careful than that.” Steve explained, carefully sopping up soda with wet paper towels. “I have to be careful, always watch my strength…”

“It was just soda, Steve. You didn’t hurt me.” Darcy told him quickly. “You didn’t scare me, either. I was just… surprised.”

“It won’t happen again, I promise.”

Steve had gotten all of the mess cleaned up while Darcy had been speaking. Darcy wondered if he had used some of his super soldier reflexes to clean it up more quickly.

“All right. I believe you, Steve. I know it was just an accident, too, in case you think I don’t.”

Steve turned back to the kitchen, not saying anything. He threw away the paper towels and washed his hands in the sink.

He returned to the living room, carefully sitting down next to her. He was sitting a bit further away than usual. Darcy scooted closer to him, pressing close into his side. She took his hand and squeezed it.

“Try to relax, Steve. I know how much control you have to have over yourself. You won’t hurt me, I know you won’t.” Darcy squeezed his hand again. “I trust you, Steve.”

She could feel Steve relax a bit beside her, but he was still slightly tense.

“Steve, please. Try and relax.”

Steve turned toward her, carefully pulling his hand out of hers. He wrapped his arms around her, craving touch and comfort. He pressed his face into her hair, taking deep breaths, trying to relax completely.

“Thank you, Darcy. I… I trust, you, too. You’re… you’re my best friend, now. You’re the only one who understands me, who really tries to. The others, they try, I know they do, but… they’ll make references I don’t understand. Sometimes they’ll laugh about it. They’re not doing it to be cruel. I know they’re not. I just… You’ve been such a help to me, Darcy. I can’t explain how much it means to me.”

Darcy’s eyes burned with tears. She felt so close to Steve, both physically and emotionally. She knew for a fact that Steve wasn’t opening up to anyone other than her. There were still things he wouldn’t talk about with her.

She loved him so much in that moment. She was pretty sure it was still platonic love, but she loved him so much her heart ached with it.

She almost told him. They were so close already, and she wasn’t going to profess her romantic love for him, or anything, just… tell him she loved him, as her closest friend.

She opened her mouth, but the words wouldn’t come, her throat constricting at the thought of telling him.

She swallowed back the words, but tightened her arms around him, hoping that her actions would speak louder than her failed words could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought of this chapter?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait until I was completely finished with chapter five to post chapter three, but I should be finished with it later tonight, so...  
> The worst thing that might happen is you might have to wait until next Tuesday for chapter six.  
> PLEASE READ THE END NOTES

It was nearing the end of September. Steve and the other Avengers had been called to assemble several hours ago.

Darcy had started to worry. She knew Steve could take care of himself, but the worry still lingered every time he left the tower for a mission.

SHIELD had tried to convince Steve to work for them, and he had refused. Tony distrusted SHIELD, and the team’s dynamics had gotten a lot better since May. Nick Fury still sent the Avengers on missions, and still occasionally asked Steve to go on solo missions, or with Natasha. Both Natasha and Clint still worked with SHIELD on a regular basis.

*

It was Natasha who came to the lab to get Darcy after the team returned. The two women hadn’t had much interaction with each other over the three months Darcy and Jane had been living in the tower. The redhead was friendly enough toward her, but Darcy got the distinct impression that the spy didn’t like her much.

“You’re needed in medical, Darcy.” Natasha told her, face a stoic mask. “Something — something has happened to Steve.”

Darcy’s stomach lurched.

“What do you mean something happened to Steve?” Darcy asked, standing and following Natasha out of the lab. “I thought the serum took care of his injuries?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, wincing slightly. Darcy was surprised that Natasha was showing her any real expressions.

“You’ll see when you get to medical. Bruce is there already, looking at readings. Tony is in his lab, trying to do research into the… situation.” Natasha’s lips pursed.

“What happened to him?” Darcy asked again as they got to an elevator. “Why can’t you just tell me?”

“You have to see it for yourself, Darcy. We don’t know exactly what happened.”

Panic made Darcy’s stomach churn. What was going on? What had happened to Steve that she couldn’t be told?

“Thank you, Jarvis,” Natasha said absently.

Darcy thought Tony’s AI was pretty awesome. She’d had multiple conversations with him. She thought of him as more of a person than a computer program.

“You’re welcome, Agent Romanov.” Jarvis said as the elevator doors whooshed silently closed behind them.

Darcy had only been to the medical floor of the tower once when she and Jane had first arrived. She knew where it was, but she hadn’t had a reason to come back since.

Natasha was frowning slightly. “Darcy, what you have to understand is this is still Steve. He’s just… a bit… different than when you last saw him.”

“Are you… coming in, too? to see him?” Darcy asked uncertainly.

Natasha shook her head. “I’ve already seen him. There’s nothing I can do for him right now.”

Darcy swallowed her nerves and walked down the hallway. She went into the room that Natasha indicated.

*

“What… the hell…?” Darcy breathed, staring at Steve, who was lying in a hospital bed.

They had gone on what, at the time, had seemed like an easy mission. Get in, secure the dangerous chemical formula, get out.

“There was… we don’t know, for certain, what happened.” Bruce explained. “I’m a scientist, not a medical doctor. We figured someone should stay with him until he wakes up. I should be with Tony, trying to figure out what happened to Steve and how to reverse it.”

“I’ll stay with him,” Darcy said quickly, rushing over to an extra chair that was beside Steve’s bed. “You can go help Tony.”

Bruce was frowning, but he nodded, standing up and leaving the room.

They were in the Tower’s state-of-the-art hospital. Tony didn’t want any member of the team to have to go to a hospital that wasn’t equipped to handle some of their unique physical conditions.

Steve was unconscious, laying still on the crisp white sheets. He was also… a lot smaller than he had been when he left with the team.

He looked so frail, his skin pale, bones visible under his skin. She had seen a picture, in her history textbook, of Steve before he had gotten the serum. He had been determined, even as small and thin as he was at the time. His determination had made him seem so much larger than life, he was going to get things done, no matter that the army wouldn’t take him. It was no wonder he had been chosen.

Now, the only sign he was still alive was the rise and fall of his chest. He was hooked up to several machines, IV’s here and there giving him different fluids.

How could the serum just be… gone? How could it have been reversed? Darcy was a political science major, not an actual scientist. She supposed, that since the serum was a scientific miracle, that it could, in theory, be taken away as well.

Darcy twisted her fingers together anxiously. What would happen to Steve now?

*

At some point, Darcy must have fallen asleep sitting next to Steve’s bed. she jerked awake when the door opened.

“Huh?” She reached up and rubbed at her eyes, fixing her glasses, which had started to slip down her nose.

Bruce was back and frowning. “He’s not awake yet?”

“I… no, he’s not.” Darcy said, wincing slightly. “Why’s he… you know, unconscious?”

“He was sedated. The… change… took a toll on his body, as you can imagine.”

Darcy nodded cautiously. “That makes sense. But… what exactly happened to him, Bruce?”

“We don’t fully understand what happened. We know the basics, we split up to save time. I was myself the entire time. They didn’t need the other guy demolishing the building.” Bruce paused, taking a steadying breath. “From what we can gather, something… somehow, the serum has been taken out of Steve’s system. It’s not in his DNA, either. Tony and I, we’re trying, but… you know how successful people have been when they tried to recreate the serum.”

Darcy took a deep, calming breath. This would change Steve’s life forever. There would probably be a lengthy adjustment period, for all involved. It was just so strange seeing Steve like this. She knew she would get used to it, and she wanted to help him in any way she could. Treating him differently just because he was… smaller… wouldn’t help. He was still her friend, still Steve Rogers. The only thing about him that had really changed was his physical body.

Darcy took one more calming breath. She would not cry, not again, not over this. She had to be strong for Steve.

“He should be waking up soon, Darcy” Bruce commented, glancing at a monitor. “I’m not the kind of doctor he’ll need, but Tony is having one flown here as we speak.”

“All right. I’ll just… stay here.”

Bruce nodded, taking a pen and writing down some notes.

“I’m going to take these readings back to Tony. The more we can understand this, the better.”

Darcy thought Bruce might be a little uncomfortable being in this room. She understood how he felt.

*

Darcy was almost dozed off again when she saw Steve twitch from the corner of her eye. She jerked her head to the left to look at him, sitting up straight in her chair.

“Steve?” She asked softly. “Are you awake?”

Steve groaned, reaching his left hand up and freezing.

“What… what happened to me?” His eyes widened.

Darcy stood up and went to the door, looking out into the hallway. Why wasn’t there a doctor here? She didn’t know how to explain what had happened to Steve. How was she supposed to tell him?

“Uh… I don’t really… I don’t know what happened, Steve, not fully. Tony and Bruce are trying to figure out something… something to help you. I… They haven’t told me anything, really, just… well, you can probably guess what happened. No one really knows how it happened. You remember the mission you were on, don’t you? They wouldn’t tell me what it was about… just that you split up and this happened to you.” Darcy rushed through the explanation, wincing. It sounded so horrible coming out of her mouth like that.

Steve made a pained noise. “It’s gone.” He breathed. “What… when will they be able to… No one was ever able to recreate the serum…” He trailed off, looking even paler.

“I don’t know, Steve. I really… I just… I’m here, for whatever it’s worth to you, I’m here and I’m not going to abandon you. If Tony and Bruce and whoever else Tony might hire to help him — if he hires anyone — I won’t leave, Steve. I swear.”

Darcy’s heart was racing, her palms sweating. She just wanted to help Steve. She had no real idea how, but that’s all she wanted.

“Darcy… that — that means a lot to me. You have no idea…” Steve shifted slightly. “What are these machines for? Did anyone say how long I’d be stuck here?”

“I don’t know… Do you want me to run to the labs and tell Bruce and Tony you’re awake? They’ll probably want to talk to you.” Darcy offered.

“You’ll come back?” Steve asked, eyes bright with what Darcy suspected were tears.

“Of course I’ll come back, Steve. It’ll only take a few minutes.”

Steve only nodded. Darcy tried to smile at him, to show him with her expression that she was supporting him.

She turned and exited the room, leaving the door open a crack.

*

Darcy made it to Bruce’s lab in record time. She hadn’t been sure, at first, whether the two scientists would be in Bruce’s or Tony’s. She had checked Bruce’s first because of his field of study.

“Hey, have you guys found anything?” Darcy questioned as she entered the lab.

“Not yet.” Bruce said absently, looking at a slide under a microscope.

“Steve’s awake.” Darcy informed Bruce. Tony was nowhere in sight. “Where’s Tony?”

Bruce sighed, carefully extracting the slide he had been viewing. “He’s working on simulations.”

“Simulations of what?”

“He’s trying to recreate the serum, I think. Honestly, I tried to recreate it myself before, and look how that turned out?” Bruce asked bitterly.

Darcy let out a breath. “What should we do while you two try to figure it out?”

“There’s nothing to do right now, Darcy.” Bruce told her quietly. “Tony and I can run experiment after experiment, test after test. We just can’t know when — or if — we’ll be able to turn Steve into a super soldier again.”

Darcy nodded. “Thanks for telling me, Bruce. Are you going to talk to Steve? I told him sort of what happened, but you’re the expert.”

“Yes, I’ll go talk to him. You can see Tony while I speak with him.”

“Okay…” Darcy agreed. Bruce obviously wanted to talk to Steve alone. “I’ll come back to his room when I’m done. I can wait outside, if you want me to.”

“No, come in when you’re done talking to Tony. It won’t take you very long.” Bruce stood, walked to the door and waited for Darcy to exit before shutting and locking it behind them.

*

Music was blaring when Darcy walked into Tony’s lab.

It cut out as Darcy walked further into the room, thanks to Jarvis, Darcy supposed.

“Tony?” Darcy questioned, looking around cautiously. You never knew what types of things he might be working on at any given time.

“Darcy, what are you doing here?” Tony asked, coming into Darcy’s line of sight holding a tablet.

“Steve’s awake,” Darcy explained. “Bruce went to talk to him, said I should come see you while he’s doing it.”

Tony nodded absently, glancing back down at his tablet.

“So… Bruce said you guys don’t know what’s going to happen? You don’t know if you can re-serum Steve again?”

“Re-serum him?” Tony cocked an eyebrow.

“What would you call it, then?”

“That works, kid.”

“You didn’t find anything, then?”

“Not yet. I’m sure Bruce already told you that we’re trying, but… I’m not a quitter, Darcy. I never have been. If there’s a way to fix Cap, we’ll find it.”

“Steve, Tony. You should call him Steve.” Darcy snapped, suddenly angry. “You think he can be Captain America right now?”

Tony’s narrowed, but then he shook his head sharply. “You know what? You’re right. He’s not Cap right now.” Tony frowned. “He can still stay here, of course. I won’t just kick him out.”

“I didn’t think you would kick him out, Tony.” Darcy frowned back. “I didn’t even imply it.”

“You didn’t, but I bet someone is thinking it. Wondering if the Avengers will turn their backs on Steve now that he’s not Captain America.”

Darcy’s stomach dropped. “You would never to that. You’re all closer now than you’ve ever been.”

Tony snorted, but nodded reluctantly. “We still have issues, kid. No one’s perfect.”

“Right.” Darcy turned toward the door. “I’ll let you get back to work. Don’t forget to sleep, Tony, and eat something.”

Tony waved a hand at her. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get on that.”

Darcy rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Jarvis, remind him?”

“Of course, Miss Lewis.” The AI answered.

Darcy waved at Tony as she left, the door closing behind her.

*

Darcy knocked on the door of Steve’s hospital room.

“Come in,” Steve called.

Darcy entered the room, glancing around quickly.

“How’re you doing, Steve?” She asked.

“I’m… trying to process.” Steve answered, glancing away from her. “It’s… I was used to having the serum, finally,, and then… it gets taken away. It was hard to get used to it at first, Darcy. I didn’t know my own strength, I was taller, bigger… it was such a change. Now, I’m… small again. I… I don’t know what’s going to happen. I doubt I can even lift my shield.” Steve said bitterly.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen, either, Steve. We’ll figure it out, I promise. I’ll help you. We’ll… we’ll figure something out.” Darcy repeated. “Has anyone said when you can leave?”

“Bruce is running more tests. He says I should stay on fluids for a while longer, just to be safe.”

Darcy nodded. “That makes sense, I guess.”

“They gave me some information about modern medical treatments and medication, too.” Steve frowned. “I thought I was done with all of this…”

“Do you want me to get you anything? A book, your iPod, something?” Darcy frowned, too. “It looks pretty lonely in here. I can stay with you for a while, if you want. Upside to Tony owning this floor, no visiting hours restrictions.”

Steve’s lips quirked into what could have passed for a smile, but looked more like a grimace.

“You can stay. It’ll be nice to have someone here, to not be alone.”

Darcy walked over to the same chair she had been in before and sat.

“So… what do we do now?” She asked.

“Beats me.” Steve replied.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Darcy unsure of what to say, and Steve looking forlorn.

Darcy could talk a lot, but when it came to situations like this, when she knew she had to be delicate, she didn’t know what to say.

“What kinds of things did you like to do before?” She blurted.

Steve blinked. “What?”

“What did you like to do before, you know, back in the day? The thirties and forties?”

Steve was still frowning. “I… I liked art,” He said quietly. “Reading, listening to the radio… helping people.”

“You can still do those things, Steve. You just don’t have your other body. You can pick up art again, we can get more books for you to read. You can still help people, too.”

Steve nodded, but he didn’t like fully convinced.

“Since it’s getting kind of late now, I can run and get you some art supplies tomorrow, if you want. And more books.” Darcy offered, smiling. “It might take your mind off everything.”

“It might.” Steve replied, but he didn’t sound like he believed that, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might have noticed, this is now part one of a series. I was thinking about doing little extras. Alternate points of views for scenes, maybe some deleted scenes. I want something to work on if I get stuck on a scene/chapter that's still in this fic-universe, so feel free to suggest scenes to me, and I'll write them if I get stuck on a scene/chapter of the main story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, again, for the comments and kudos! It's really helping me want to get this written.  
> Please, if you can think of a scene in an alternate point of view you'd like to see, let me know. I'll try and get it done.

Darcy returned the next morning with the art supplies and books she’d promised Steve.

He was sitting up in bed when she came into the room. He looked a little better, but since she wasn’t a doctor, Darcy wasn’t completely sure. He looked less pale, at any rate.

“Hey, Steve. Look what I brought.” Darcy dropped the grocery bag she had been carrying next to him.

Steve smiled in thanks, and this time, he seemed to mean it. Darcy knew Steve was optimistic, but she’d sort of expected him to still be as upset as he’d been the day before.

“Thanks, Darcy.” Steve told her, reaching into the bag and pulling out several different books, colored pencils and notebooks.

“It was no problem. Do you like them?”

“Yeah, they’re great. I also have some things in my apartment. I shouldn’t have to stay here too much longer.”

“Whoa, they’re letting you leave already? That’s awesome, dude.” Darcy beamed, excited that her friend would soon be able to get back to his own apartment in the tower and not have to be in this hospital room.

“Yeah, it is.”

They lapsed into silence, Steve flipping through blank pages absently.

Darcy sat in that same chair as yesterday.

“Did they tell you when exactly you can leave?” Darcy asked, leaning toward him, laying her hand on one of his as he stopped turning pages to look at her.

“I hope it’s today, but it might not be until tomorrow.” Steve replied, turning his hand and squeezing her fingers.

His hand was smaller, like the rest of him. It was just another thing Darcy would have to get used to.

“I’m happy you’ll be out soon, Steve. I was really worried about you yesterday when you were unconscious. I know it’s going to be a huge change, for everyone.”

Steve nodded, looking slightly sad again. “It is a huge change.” He repeated, still holding onto Darcy’s hand.

*

Sometime later, Darcy suddenly looked at Steve again.

“Hey, so someone got you new clothes?” She asked, blinking.

Steve winced. “tony had someone get them for me. He insisted he pay for them, too.” Steve frowned again. “He hasn’t been here much. He said he was still working on something. He wouldn’t tell me what it is.”

Darcy nodded in agreement. “He didn’t tell me, either. Just said he had to get back to work. I reminded him to eat and sleep, and Jarvis said he would remind him, too, but you know Tony. He probably hasn’t slept yet.”

Steve nodded, too. “He probably hasn’t.”

“Hey, Jarvis? Has Tony slept yet? Has he done anything other than work and buy Steve new clothes and shoes?” Darcy asked the AI.

“He has not slept, Miss Lewis,” Jarvis answered. “I have reminded him several times. Sir is ignoring my requests that he sleep.”

Darcy’s eyes narrowed. “Tell him that I said he needs to take a break. He’ll overwork himself.”

“I shall tell him, but I cannot guarantee he’ll listen to your request, either.”

“All right. Thanks for trying, Jarvis.” Darcy told him.

“You’re welcome, Miss Lewis.”

*

The day passed slowly, Darcy making a trip to get something for lunch for herself and Steve. He could eat light foods now, so she got him soup.

Around two, a doctor finally showed up. Darcy left the room to give them privacy.

When the doctor left and she reentered the room, Steve smiled at her.

“I can leave now.” He told her, standing from the bed and making his way to her. “I just have taken it easy for a few days…”

Darcy threw her arms around him, grinning. “That’s great, Steve!”

Steve froze for a few seconds, then tentatively, he wrapped his arms around her. His body felt so different than the one she was used to.

The embrace lasted for several minutes, both getting caught up in it. Darcy knew Steve needed the physical contact, and if she was being honest with herself, she needed it, too.

She’d missed Steve when he’d been on that mission. It had been a relatively short one, but she’d still missed him.

“Thank you, Darcy,” Steve said, pulling away from her slightly. “I… I really needed that.”

Darcy smiled. “I don’t mind, Steve. You know that.”

“You didn’t mind before.” He muttered, and Darcy was sure he hadn’t meant for her to hear the comment.

“The only thing that’s changed is your body, Steve. You’re my best friend. That’s not going to change.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything in reply.

They left the hospital floor shortly afterward, and Darcy wasn’t sure what to do now. She’d meant it when she said she was happy Steve was getting released.

“What do you want to do now, Steve?” She asked.

“I don’t know.” Steve replied.

“Do you want to go to my place and do something? Watch a movie or show?” Darcy wondered.

Steve’s expression faltered for a second, so fast that if Darcy hadn’t been paying close attention to him, she would have missed it.

“Sure, we can do that.” Steve answered. “I’m not sure if I’ll be great company, though.”

“I don’t care, Steve. You’re allowed to be upset.” Darcy told him, grabbing his hand.

“I know that.” Steve said shortly.

He was holding the grocery bag Darcy had given him full of things on his arm, and in his other hand he held another bag, but this one had medication and an inhaler.

The grocery bag made it a bit awkward to hold his hand, but Darcy wasn’t going to let go.

*

When they got to Darcy’s apartment, Steve carefully read the medicine bottles.

“Are you memorizing them?” Darcy asked.

“I don’t have to memorize them, Darcy.” Steve answered, glancing at her. “I’m trying to figure out when I’ll have to take everything.”

Darcy flopped down on the couch next to him, sighing in relief. “This is a lot more comfortable than the chair was, just saying.”

Steve snorted in amusement. “‘Course it is, Darci.”

He put the medication back into the bag, then slumped back against the couch, breathing out slowly.

Darcy reached out, tugging him closer to her. “Let’s just sit here for a little bit, then we can watch something.”

‘Yeah,” Steve murmured, leaning against her.

*

Darcy woke up to movement next to her.

She blinked, reaching up to take her glasses off and rub at her eyes, then put them back on her face.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you…” Steve said quietly.

“It’s fine, Steve.” Darcy told him, stretching slightly.

She and Steve were still sitting close together, but Steve had shifted slightly away from her.

“What time is it?” Darcy mumbled.

“A bit after six.” Steve replied.

“Oh, shit, dinner!” Darcy shot up off the couch. “What do you want? Pasta?”

“I’m not really hungry, Darcy.”

“You’re not? You should try to eat something anyway, Steve. You need the calories.” Darcy said firmly.

Steve’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he stood up, too.

“I’ll help you.” He offered, trying to smile.

“Sure, you can help if you want.”

Steve followed Darcy into her kitchen, getting a pot and putting water in it. Darcy grabbed some pasta out of her pantry and set it on the counter. Steve put the pot on the stove, setting the temperature.

Now, all they had to do was wait for the water to boil.

*

Dinner was a quiet affair. Steve ate in silence, and Darcy still didn’t know what to say. She was trying to get Steve to interact with her, but he wasn’t cooperating. So they sat in silence.

“So… what do you want to watch after dinner?” Darcy questioned.

“You pick.” Steve replied, putting another forkful of pasta in his mouth.

Darcy frowned. “Do you want to watch _Lord of the Rings_ again?”

“That’s fine.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll do dishes,” Steve offered.

“Nope, I’m doing them.” Darcy shook her head. “You’re supposed to take it easy, remember?”

Steve blew out an annoyed breath.

“You can get the DVD’s out, if you want.” Darcy said, trying to compromise.

Steve only frowned in reply.

*

In the kitchen doing the dishes quickly, Darcy let out a quiet sigh.

This was hard. She was trying to act like nothing had really changed between she and Steve, but it sort of had. He could put on a brave face for her all he wanted, but she still knew he was struggling. This was a difficult situation, a downright strange one. Steve had every right to be upset or depressed about it.

“Hey, Steve, do you want something to drink?” Darcy called into the living room.

The dishes had been easy enough to clean she was used to doing dishes by hand. There hadn’t been a dishwasher when she’d been in college, so she’d gotten used to doing them by hand and was efficient at it.

“Water’s fine, Darcy.” Steve replied.

Darcy grabbed two glasses and filled them with water, bringing them out to set on her coffee table.

Steve was back on the couch, remote in hand and the _Fellowship of the Ring_ main menu screen on the TV.

“Thanks,” Steve said, taking his glass of water and taking a drink.

“You’re welcome.” Darcy smiled.

The movie passed in silence, the two sitting close to each other. It was their movie ritual, watch a movie, sit close, legs touching and arms brushing when one of them moved.

After the movie was over, Steve stood, glancing at Darcy.

“I should go,” He told her.

“You don’t have to.” Darcy replied.

Steve smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It was nice, hanging out like before.”

“Yeah, it was. We can do it any time, Steve. Whenever you want.” Darcy smiled back. She hoped hers reached her eyes.

She was being sincere, but Steve’s sadness was starting to rub off on her.

“Thanks for saying that, Darcy.” Steve was frowning again.

“I’m not just saying it, Steve, I mean it.” Darcy reassured him.

She didn’t care how many times she had to tell him, she would get it through his head.

Steve started to turn, but Darcy reached out and stopped him. She stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing.

“If you need anything, Steve, let me know.” She told him.

Steve’s arms came around her after a slight hesitation. “Thanks, Darcy. I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve a hell of a lot, Steve. Being friends is the least you deserve.”

Steve’s arms tightened a bit, squeezing, then he let go and stepped back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Darcy.”

“See you tomorrow, Steve. Have a good night.”

“Good night,” Steve repeated, grabbing his two bags and leaving her apartment.

*

Darcy was in Jane's lab the next morning, getting the work she hadn't gotten done the day before finished. Jane had been understanding, letting Darcy have yesterday off to be with Steve.

“How’s Steve doing?” Jane asked, glancing up from her work.

“He’s doing better than I thought he would be.” Darcy responded, pausing in her own work. “I think he might be trying to put on a brave face, not wanting me to see how much this is messing him up.”

Jane winced, but didn't say anything in reply. The two women worked in silence for a while, the only sounds were Jane's pen scratching on paper and Darcy hitting keys on her keyboard.

*

Darcy knocked on Steve’s door after she and Jane had finished with work for the day. She’d been worrying over how Steve was doing today after her conversation with Jane, not that she hadn’t already been worrying, but the conversation had only amplified it.

The door opened, Steve just behind it. He looked incredibly tired.

“Rough night?” Darcy asked, frowning in concern.

“Yeah.” Steve answered. “Want to come in?”

Darcy nodded as Steve stepped back. She entered his apartment and glanced around.

She and Steve usually hung out at her place, or outside of the tower. It wasn’t a big deal, Darcy didn’t care where they hung outs long as they were together.

The two of them went into Steve’s living room and sat on his couch.

“Do you want a drink?” Steve offered, standing in front of her.

“Sure. Just get me water or whatever.”

Steve walked into his kitchen, leaving Darcy in the living room.

Steve returned quickly with two glasses of water. “Here you go, Darcy.”

“Thanks, Steve.” Darcy smiled, taking her drink. from him

Steve sat next to her on the couch.

“So, you had a rough night last night?” Darcy repeated her earlier question.

Steve nodded, sighing. “I had a lot to think about…” He told her. “This is still so strange, being in this body again.”

“I can only imagine what you’re going through right now, Steve.” Darcy said, reaching over and taking his free hand.

“I don’t know what to do now, Darcy.”

“We’ll figure something out, Steve, I promise. I’ll help you.” Darcy said, smiling. “How about drawing or painting? I didn’t get you paints or anything like that, but we could get some, if you want. You have those colored pencils and notebooks. Have you tried them yet? It could take your mind off all this.” Darcy suggested, trying to get Steve to focus on something positive.

“I’ve done a little, but I haven’t been able to concentrate much.” Steve explained to her, wincing slightly.

“It’s okay, Steve, don’t worry about it.” Darcy told him, smiling. “You got a little bit done, at least. You can work up to doing more, once you get a bit more settled.”

Steve smiled, although it looked slightly forced. “Thanks, Darcy. I know you’re right. I’ll be able to focus more in a few days.”

Darcy smiled again in response.

*

The two ended up just sitting and talking for a while on Steve’s couch. They didn’t put anything on the TV, just sat next to each other. Darcy was happy to do anything with Steve, and she liked talking with him, so it was a win-win situation.

Steve was loosening up, although he still looked tired. Darcy hoped he would be able to get some more sleep that night. He really needed the rest.

“Do you want to do something tomorrow?” Darcy asked, smiling. “I can after I’m done with Jane.”

Steve smiled in response, and Darcy took that for a yes.

“We could go out, if you want. Outside and do something? We could look at paints, see which ones you’d want to get.”

“I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea to leave the tower, Darcy.” Steve told her quietly.

Darcy frowned. “I guess you’re right, but I figured I’d offer.”

“I know you meant well, Darcy. I would like to go somewhere with you.” Steve said, frowning. “I’ll ask Tony. Since my body has changed so much, people might not recognize me.”

Darcy nodded. “I’m sure people won’t be able to recognize you, Steve. You… look a lot different than you used to. It’s not bad, just… different. People might recognize your face, but I don’t know. It would be pretty bad it if got out that you’re… you know, changed.”

Darcy could only imagine the headlines that would be all over the internet and newspapers within hours of people discovering what had happened. It would be chaos.

What would Steve do, though, if Bruce and tony couldn’t recreate the serum?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, you can follow me on Tumblr. My username is pieannamay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered waiting to post this, but decided I'd post it anyway. I've been sick since Sunday, so I didn't get as much written as I would have liked. I'm still on chapter eight.  
> Thanks, as always, for all of your support, comments and kudos.

Darcy and Steve had decided to go out the next day to an art store. Steve needed some fresh air, and Darcy was getting antsy, being cooped up in the tower.

Darcy trusted Steve’s judgement on what paints and other art supplies he would like to get. She liked art well enough, but she didn’t know much about shading or other artistic techniques.

*

“What do you want to do now?” Darcy asked, helping Steve carry his purchases.

He’d wanted to carry them all himself, but he had multiple bags, and Darcy had insisted she help him.

“We should get these back to the tower so we don’t have to carry them everywhere.” Steve suggested.

“Sure, we can do that.” Darcy replied, grinning at him. “It’s been fun being out for a bit, hasn’t it?”

Steve nodded, smiling back at her. “It’s been nice, Darcy.”

The two made their way back to the tower, chatting about nothing in particular as they walked. It was nice to see Steve relaxed again.

When they got inside the tower and back to Steve’s apartment to drop off his bags, Steve excused himself to put them away.

Darcy waited in his living room, sitting on his couch like she had the day before.

Steve walked out of his bedroom, but didn’t join Darcy right away. Darcy waited patiently, knowing he would be back with her in a few minutes.

Steve joined her shortly, sitting next to her.

“We can go back to your place if you want.” He offered, smiling.

“Sure, do you want to watch a movie or something?” Darcy asked.

“I don’t know.”

“We can look around, we’ll find something to do.” Darcy suggested.

Steve nodded, so they left his apartment and went to hers.

*

“Has Bruce or Tony said anything to you yet?” Darcy asked, glancing away from the TV screen to look at Steve.

“They haven’t told me anything yet.” Steve replied, frustrated. “I should be helping them.”

“You’re not a scientist, Steve.” Darcy said gently.

“I know I’m not a scientist, but… I should be helping in some way.” Steve muttered, frowning.

“I feel the same way, Steve.” Darcy said, frowning. “The only things I can really do for them is help with notes and things like that. I can’t really help test experiments blood samples.”

“I guess we’re both just stuck, then.” Steve said bitterly.

“Hey, look at it this way, at least we’re both stuck together.”

Steve’s lips quirked up into a half-smile. “Yeah, we’re stuck together.” His smile widened a bit, and it looked like he was actually amused, instead of just humoring her.

Darcy smiled back, laughing slightly. “We’re both in good company, then.”

“We are,” Steve said softly.

*

A few days passed, and Darcy noticed that Steve seemed a little more comfortable in his new-old body. He was smiling more often, and it was reaching his eyes. He was laughing again, and joked around with her like he used to. Their friendship seemed back on track, but Darcy couldn’t help feeling that something was off. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something seemed to have shifted slightly in their friendship.

They had always been physically close with each other, always had brushed fingers, hands, arms and legs when the other was nearby. There was, if possible, more touching now. Darcy wasn’t sure what was happening. She’d had guys interested in her in the past, and she’d been interested in a few of them herself, but Steve… Steve was different. He hadn’t only seen her chest like most other guys had. He treated her like an equal, valued her opinions, asked what she wanted to do when they hung out together.

She thought Steve was very good looking, of course; who wouldn’t? He was still good looking, in her opinion. From the little Steve spoke of it, girls just hadn’t been interested in him before he got the serum. Darcy privately thought it was a shame. Steve treated women with respect. He was kind, sweet… the list went on. He fought for what he believed in. He was inherently good.

Darcy had always been able to appreciate the way a guy looked, but it was what was on the inside that truly counted. She’d been judged so many times by the size of her breasts too often, guys judging her a certain way even before talking to her.

Was Steve interested in her romantically? If he was, why wouldn’t he say something?

*

Darcy met up with Steve later that same day. They had made plans yesterday, and since it was finally the weekend, both of them didn’t have anything to do. Bruce and Tony still hadn’t figured out anything with the serum, and Tony had scrapped the invention he had been hard at work on the day Steve had been changed.

Darcy honestly had no clue what the two scientists were doing now. They still worked together, but they were withholding any information on what the project was.

“So, Do you want to go to the library?” Darcy asked as Steve knocked at her apartment door. “We haven’t gone recently.”

“I haven’t felt like reading in the past few days. I was just thinking we should go check out some more history books.” Steve answered, giving Darcy a fond smile.

Darcy almost brought up what she had been contemplating earlier, but she didn’t think it would be the right time. She didn’t even know how to start that conversation, or what to say to Steve regarding her unknown feelings. She decided not to say anything about it at all.

*

After a successful trip to the public library, Darcy and Steve returned to the tower and decided to go to Steve’s apartment to drop the books off.

Even though she had decided not to bring her suspicion up with Steve, her stomach still twisted with nerves. How was she supposed to move past this? She knew she couldn’t just brush it off, but what should she do? She wasn’t interested in any guys — other than Steve — and that was only friendship. He was her best friend, that was all. She didn’t feel like she was in denial over anything. She should know her own feelings, shouldn’t she?

“You’re pretty quiet, Darcy.” Steve said, bringing Darcy out of her spiraling thoughts. “Is everything all right?”

“I’m fine, Steve.” Darcy answered, smiling. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

“If you say so. You just seem pretty pensive, is all.”

Another thing in Steve’s favor… he noticed her moods. God, what was happening with her?

*

Darcy and Steve went to Darcy’s apartment and grabbed something to eat. They were both hungry after their trip outside the tower. They had decided to go to the library and nowhere else.

“Want to go see what Bruce and Tony are up to?” Darcy suggested after they had eaten.

“Yeah, I was going to head down to see them today anyway, we might as well go together.” Steve replied.

“I can be moral support.” Darcy offered.

A strange expression flickered across Steve’s face before he smiled, and it was gone.

“You’re more than moral support, Darcy.” Steve said quietly. “I don’t know what I would have done without you this past week. You’ve pulled me out of my own head, brought me out of what feel like unfixable problems.”

Darcy felt her face flush at his words. She’d tried to help him cope with what had happened, but she hadn’t been sure how helpful she had been.

“It wasn’t a problem, Steve, really.” Darcy said in response, smiling. “I know you would do the same thing for me if I needed it.”

“Of course, Darcy.” Steve smiled back.

*

When Darcy and Steve got to Bruce’s lab, he wasn’t there.

“Maybe he’s with Tony?” Darcy suggested, and Steve nodded in agreement.

They went to Tony’s lab, and the door was locked.

“What the hell, Tony?” Darcy asked under her breath.

“Jarvis?” Steve called, frowning. “Why is Tony’s lab locked? Is Bruce with him?”

“Sir does not wish to be disturbed, Captain Rogers.” Jarvis replies, and Darcy doesn’t miss Steve’s slight flinch at the use of his title. “Dr. Banner is indeed with Sir.”

“It’s a top secret project?” Darcy asked the AI, frowning. “The only ones who know about it are Tony, Bruce and you?”

“That is correct, Miss Lewis.” Jarvis responded.

“What’s Steve supposed to do, then, if he can’t ask Bruce or Tony how their progress is coming?”

“I apologize, but I don’t know at this time, Miss Lewis, Captain Rogers.” Jarvis told them.

Steve let out a frustrated breath. “Jarvis, please tell Tony to contact me as soon as he gets the time.”

“Your message has been delivered, Captain Rogers.”

Steve nods sharply, turning to leave the lab area. Darcy turned with him, falling into step at his side.

“Well, that was total bust.” She commented.

Steve only nodded in agreement, not saying anything in reply.

*

“We need to relax.” Darcy told Steve when they got back to her apartment. “I’ll put on some relaxing music and we can just sit together and unwind.”

“I’ll try, Darcy, but I don’t know if I can relax right now…” Steve responded, jaw clenched in frustration. “They’re cutting me out.”

“I don’t think you’re being cut out of anything, Steve.” Darcy answered his statement with one of her own. “Bruce and Tony are just… I don’t know what they’re doing, but when you were first brought, both of them immediately went down to Bruce’s lab and started working. Bruce only waited until someone could be with you to leave your hospital room.”

Darcy pulled her iPod out of her pocket and plugged it into her docking speaker, selecting a relaxing playlist from her music collection. She flopped down onto her couch, trying to relax tensed muscles. Steve sat down next to her, but wasn’t touching her.

“Come on, Steve, come here.” Darcy prompted, smiling invitingly at him. “You’ll feel a bit better once you can relax.”

Steve moved closer but not by much, still sitting apart from her.

“Do you want to go sweater shopping  soon?” Darcy suddenly asked. “It’s getting pretty cold outside. We can get you a warm coat, too. And gloves, a scarf… a hat… warm boots… Get prepared for winter.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped. “Do you… Do you think I’ll be stuck like this for that long, Darcy?” He questioned.

“I… don’t know, Steve.” Darcy responded slowly, thoughtfully. “There’s really no way to know when it can be reversed, especially since Bruce and Tony aren’t telling you — us — anything right now.”

Steve frowned, eyes downcast.

“Plus, it’s better to be safe than sorry.” Darcy continued, smiling encouragingly at Steve. “If you get re-serumed, we can always donate the clothes you wouldn’t need anymore.”

Steve nodded, but was silent.

“We don’t necessarily have to do it today, or tomorrow, Steve, but we should do it soon.” Darcy told him, frowning a bit. “Wouldn’t you like to pick out your own winter clothes? I can come with you, I was going to offer anyway.”

“Let’s wait a few more days, Darcy.” Steve said quietly. “We… we might not have to get clothes for this body.”

Darcy frowned in concern. She had thought Steve was coming to terms with his changed body, but his reaction to the suggestion of getting winter clothes proved that he hadn’t. Sure, it wasn’t even halfway into October yet, but Darcy didn’t see the harm in being prepared. She knew Steve got cold easily and liked warm clothes, warm blankets, warm drinks. She had been looking forward to getting him a lot of different hot drinks for him to try, to see what he liked and what he didn’t.

Wasn’t anyone else talking to him? She’d thought the team was a lot closer with each other than they used to be, but from what she’d seen in the past week, she, was one of the only ones trying to acclimatize Steve into being in his new-old body. Bruce and Tony were doing science-related things, but what about Natasha and Clint?

Darcy had only seen Clint a few times since she and Jane had moved into the tower in June. He seemed to often be on missions for SHIELD, or actively avoiding everyone except for Natasha.

Darcy wasn’t sure how to tell Steve that he might not get re-serumed, that he might be stuck like this for the rest of his life.

Steve suddenly leaned against her, pressing close. Darcy glanced over, and he was still frowning, but he was trying to relax, at least.

“You’re really helping me out a lot with this, Darcy.” Steve told her quietly. “I… don’t know how to thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Steve.” Darcy replied, nudging him gently with her elbow. “Friends help other friends out.”

Steve smiled tentatively back. “Right.”

Darcy leaned back against the couch, trying to get Steve to relax a little bit more. It couldn’t be good for him to be this worked up.

“So, if we’re not getting winter clothes for a few days, what do you think we should do in the meantime?” Darcy asked, glancing over to Steve.

“I’m not sure.” Steve replied. “The city is so different from what it used to be.”

Darcy nodded her head in agreement. “I’ll bet.”

“It’s still… hard.” Steve mused quietly. “Sometimes, I’ll wake up and hope this was all just a dream, that I’m still in 1945.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for you, Steve.” Darcy responded, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “If I knew how to help you in a better way, I would do it.”

“You do help, Darcy.” Steve squeezed her hand hard in return. “I have being with you to look forward to every day. Having something — someone — as a constant presence in my life… I don’t know where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for you being here. You help me in ways I can’t describe, can’t even name.”

Darcy couldn’t speak. She didn’t know what to say to a confession like that. The fact that Steve thought so highly of their friendship — of her — meant everything. She had never had a friendship like this before; no one had been this close to her, emotionally. There were her parents, but they were her parents.

“I don’t know what to say, Steve.” Darcy replied, turning to him and throwing her arms around his shoulders in a hug. “I’m really happy that you think so highly of me. I’ve… never been as close with anyone as I am with you. It’s hard to explain. I know we’ve only known each other for four months, but it feels like so much longer than that for me. You get me in ways no one else does. You care what I think, you listen to what I say… You don’t stare at my boobs.” Darcy laughed wetly, pressing her face into Steve’s hair. “I’m not crying,” she sniffed.

Steve’s arms encircled her back and he held onto her as both of them took comfort in the other’s closeness.

“I mean it, Darcy.” he breathed.

The two of them stayed that way for a while, just being together, comforted by the physical contact. Darcy had stopped crying, but she didn’t want to let go of Steve. She never wanted to let go of him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling a lot better than I have all week, you guys. I'm still not completely over this, but I do feel a heck of a lot better.  
> According to Scrivener on my phone, what I just wrote in chapter nine takes the total word count for this fic over 20,000 words. I've never written this much before. I love this story so much.  
> I hope you like this chapter. I got stuck a few times and had to take a break, then come back and continue writing.  
> Thanks, as always, for all of your support! :)

The next day, Darcy was surprised when Steve knocked on her apartment door bright and early.

“What’s happening?” Darcy mumbled, staring confusedly at Steve. “It’s so early, Steve.”

“Tony texted my cell phone, telling me to get you and head down to his lab.” Steve was brimming with excitement.

Darcy blinked, trying to wake up fully. “Right now?”

“Yeah, right now. Or, as soon as you can get ready, Darcy. You don’t have to rush.” Steve said quickly, glancing around, as if suddenly realizing just how early it was.

“I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes, Steve.” Darcy smiled sleepily, turning to go down the hallway and back to her bedroom. “I don’t want to make you wait too long, you look like you’re having some kind of sugar rush or something.” She called as she entered her room.

She heard Steve laugh from the living room, but he didn’t say anything to her last statement.

Darcy quickly got the clothes she wanted to wear, and added a nice, warm sweater for good measure. Steve wasn’t the only one who liked being warm rather than cold.

She rushed through getting ready, and was somehow done five minutes before she said she would be.

“I’m ready, Steve.” She said as she walked back into her living room. “Let’s head down to Tony’s lab now.” She smiled, feeling Steve’s excitement as if it were her own.

She was excited, but she had her doubts that Bruce and Tony had succeeded in recreating the serum so soon. She didn’t know what Tony actually wanted with the two of them, but she hoped Steve wouldn’t be too disappointed if it turned out not to be what he thought.

Steve’s answering smile made her stomach flutter with butterflies.

*

When Darcy and Steve got to Tony’s lab, he was standing out in the hallway waiting for them.

“I have a present for you, Steve-o, Lewis.” Tony spread his arms wide, grinning at them.

He looked… sleep deprived. Dark circles were underneath his eyes, and he looked like all he’d had to drink was coffee for hours.

“God, Tony, you need to sleep.” Darcy ordered, frowning at him.

“I don’t need sleep, Lewis, I’m fine.”

“Uh, you’re not.”

“Your present is waiting for you.” Was all Tony said in reply to Darcy’s accusation. “I’m even letting you borrow a car to get there.”

“What is it, Tony?” Steve asked warily.

Darcy knew that Steve and Tony got along as well as two completely different personalities could. They didn’t argue as often as they used to, but the two rarely agreed on anything.

“It’s a surprise. There’s a map in the car. An old-fashioned, primitive map.”

“I can’t just leave, Tony, I have work with Jane tomorrow.” Darcy interrupted.

“I’ve gotten Jane her very own substitute assistant until you and the good Captain return in a month’s time.” Tony explained. “Everything is taken care of, all you two have to do is show up.”

“A substitute assistant?” Darcy questioned, one eyebrow raising.

“It’s only temporary. You’ll be back before you know it.”

“We can’t just leave, Tony.” Steve argued, frowning. “I thought this was something important or —”

“Bruce and I aren’t done with the serum yet, Steve.” Tony said, and for the first time during the conversation, he looked serious. “We honestly have no idea what we’re doing, and Bruce… he’s not exactly doing well with having to try to recreate something that turned him into a green rage monster.”

Darcy swallowed. “Why are you doing this, Tony? Sending Steve and I somewhere?”

“You,” Tony pointed at Steve, “need to loosen up. And you,” he pointed at Darcy, “need to teach him how to have fun.”

“Um, first of all, what the hell?” Darcy demanded, glaring. “Second, how will you know what we’re doing?”

“I’ll just have to trust you’re doing what I asked you to do.” Tony replied, winking.

“So you want us to leave your tower?”

“You got it. Think of it as a vacation.”

Steve hadn’t said anything throughout this part of the conversation. Darcy glanced at him, to see he was still frowning, but he looked contemplative, not angry.

“Why are you offering this suddenly?” Steve asked.

“The goodness of my heart.” Tony quipped.

“Seriously, Tony, why?”

Tony sighed dramatically, then explained. “You want to know, Steve? We’re trying to recreate the serum, as you know. Do you want the cold, hard truth?”

Steve nodded sharply.

“It’s not coming along nearly as well as we hoped it would. Bruce is taking it as a personal failure, that he can’t ‘fix’ you.” Tony jabbed a finger in Steve’s direction. “Why do you think you haven’t seen him recently?”

“We haven’t see you, either, Tony.” Darcy reentered the conversation, narrowing her eyes. “We also haven’t seen Natasha or Clint. I met Clint in New Mexico, did you know that?” Darcy asked rhetorically, because unless Clint had mentioned it, they hadn’t known. “I have hardly seen him since Jane and I moved in here back in June!”

“The only person who’s seen Clint for more than five minutes at a time is Natasha.” Tony interrupted. “He’s not… Loki messed him up.”

“I know that!” Darcy said angrily. “What about Erik? Who’s helping him?”

“I… don’t know that.” Tony muttered. “SHIELD might have just let him go back to wherever he was before they picked him up.”

Darcy’s fingernails dug into her palms. “Jane and I worked with him for years, Tony. No one even bothered telling either one of us how… what Loki did to him.”

“Look, Darcy,” Tony said, frowning slightly. “I’ll look into it while you and Cap are gone. I’ll find him, and I’ll offer him a position here.”

Darcy’s eyes widened in surprise. “You… will?”

“Yes.” Tony told her firmly. “Both you and Steve seriously need a vacation, Darcy. I’m offering you my — a surprise.”

Darcy glanced at Steve, wondering what his thoughts on the subject were. Steve met her eyes, quirking his lips into a smile.

“Fine, Tony, we’ll do it.”

“Great. Go pack.” Tony told them, then spun toward the door of his lab. “Also,” he turned back to them for a second, “Have fun, lovebirds.”

“What — Tony, we’re not —” Darcy sputtered, her face feeling like it was on fire from how hard she was sure she had started blushing.

She glanced quickly at Steve, who’s face was as red as hers likely was.

“Tony…” Steve sighed in exasperation.

“I’m just calling it as I see it.” Tony smirked.

With that last parting comment, Tony opened his lab door and was gone.

*

Darcy insisted she see Jane before they go to pack, wanting to make sure her boss-turned-friend would be all right if she and Steve just up and left.

Darcy and Steve went to Jane’s apartment.

Darcy knocked on the door, wondering if Jane was awake.

“I’ll just wait here, Darcy.” Steve told her, leaning against the opposite wall. “You go and talk with Jane.”

“If you’re sure…” Darcy trailed off when the door in front of her opened, revealing tired looking Jane.

“Darcy?” Jane asked, frowning. “What are you doing here?” She spied Steve behind Darcy and waved. “Hey, Steve. You’re doing all right?”

Steve nodded. “I’m as all right as I can be, considering the events of the past week.” Steve offered Jane a smile.

“That’s great to hear. I’m happy you’re doing all right.”

“Tony wants Steve and I to go on vacation, Jane.” Darcy blurted out, leaning a bit closer to the other woman. “He’s letting us borrow one of his cars and everything. He said it’s a surprise. How weird is that, Jane?”

“That’s pretty weird. \” Jane agreed, frowning. “He did mention something about it to me last night, I think. We ran into each other in the common area kitchen.”

“There’s a common area kitchen?” Darcy asked. “No one mentioned that to me.” She threw a look at Steve. “Did you know there was a common area kitchen, Steve?”

“Tony mentioned it the team’s first day here,” Steve explained. “No one uses it, though, as far as I know.”

“Whoa…” Darcy muttered.

“I’ll be fine, Darcy.” Jane offered her friend a smile. “It’ll only be for a month. Tony hired some substitute assistant. They won’t be as good as you are, but they’ll do until you two get back.”

“Are you sure?” Darcy asked. “I thought he was joking around, at first.”

“I’m sure, Darcy. We can go through everything the substitute does when you get back, if you want, just to check that they did everything to your standards.”

“If you’re sure…” “Have fun, you two.” Jane offered Steve another smile, waving at both of them as she returned into her apartment and closed the door.

“Well, that was unexpected.” Darcy commented as she and Steve got to the juncture in the hall where they would turn different directions.

“It was.”

Neither one of them brought up Tony’s last comment as he’d left them standing in the hall outside his lab.

*

Darcy and Steve separated to pack their things.

Darcy packed several changes of clothes, pajamas, sweaters, cardigans, warm socks, her iPod and dock, laptop and some DVD’s she and Steve both enjoy.

She’d never been the most efficient packer in the world, but if she forgot something, they could always stop at a store and pick it up.

Her stomach twisted with nervous excitement. She and Steve would be sharing — a house, something — together. They would be living together for a month, according to Tony.

Living with Steve would be a lot different than hanging out with him and then spending the night alone, she knew. They were only friends, and it shouldn’t have mattered, either way, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it. She wondered if Steve was excited to be out of the tower, alone for a month with only her for company?

A knock on her apartment door interrupted her thoughts.

She opened it and saw Steve standing there, two bags at his feet

“You ready, Darcy?” He asked, smiling.

“Yeah, I just have to get it out here.” She smiled back. “Did Tony tell you which car we would be taking? Or anything that he didn’t mention to us while we were down talking to him?”

Steve shook his head. “He hasn’t texted or called me. We’ll just have to see when we get down to the garage.”

Darcy nearly squealed with excitement. She hadn’t realized how much she’d wanted a vacation until Tony had forced it on her — on them.

“You have everything?” Darcy asked, glancing back at Steve as she made her way back to her room to grab her bags.

“Yeah, I’ve got everything.” Steve replied. “If I need something, we can go to the store and get whatever it is.”

“That’s what I was thinking, too.” Darcy laughed lightly.

She returned to the living room with her bags in hand.

“Do you — uh — need help with your stuff?” She asked, glancing from Steve to his bags. “The only reason I’m asking is Tony’s garage is huge. It might take us a few minutes to find whatever he’s letting us take to wherever he’s sending us.”

Steve shook his head. “Thanks for offering, Darcy, but I’ve got it.”

Darcy nodded, putting one bag over each shoulder, waiting for Steve to grab his bags before locking her apartment behind them.

*

It hadn’t been hard to spot which car Tony intended them to take to the mysterious destination. Someone — probably Tony — had taped a sign on the roof. Darcy had to stand on tiptoe to remove it.

Steve sighed, but smiled slightly nevertheless. “I wish Tony would have told us the real reason he’s doing all of this.”

“He told us something, at least, even if it doesn’t seem like the whole truth.” Darcy responded, taking the keys that had also been taped to the sign. “Do you want me to drive?”

“You can take the first shift, I’ll take over when you need a break.” Steve replied.

That surprised Darcy a bit. Was Steve finally accepting the fact that his body had physical limitations again?

“I’ll read the directions and tell you when to turn.” Steve offered, then he went to the driver’s side door and opened it for her, before going to the passenger’s side and opening his own door.

“Thanks, Steve.” Darcy smiled. “For offering to read the directions and opening my door for me.”

“It was nothing, Darcy.”

Darcy smiled to herself as she sat in the driver’s seat, turning on the car and shutting her door, buckling her seatbelt quickly out of habit. Steve’s seatbelt was already buckled.

“Okay, let’s hit the road!” Darcy pumped a fist in the air.

*

Darcy and Steve switch places a few hours after they started driving.

“I’m really tempted to call Tony,” Darcy muttered, scowling at the map. “Turn right up here,” she told Steve. “He eve put an x to mark where we’re supposed to stop at.”

“He’s trying… in his own way.” Steve responded, frowning. “He thinks he’s helping me — us.” He glanced quickly at Darcy out of the corner of his eye. “It does sound nice, though, doesn’t it? A month just to ourselves.”

Darcy smiled, her frustration leaving her in a rush of affection for the man beside her.

*

“Hey, Steve?” Darcy asked later, after he insisted he could drive for a while longer.

“Hm?” Steve responded, glancing at her then back to the road in front of them.

“Do you even have a driver’s license for the twenty-first century?”

Steve frowned. “I have one, Darcy.”

“I was just wondering, dude.” She grinned. “This is kind of fun, just the two of us and the open road… and this map.”

She frowned down at the map spread out on her lap. “I wish we knew where we’re going. If the GPS on my phone wasn’t so screwy, I’d try to figure out where he’s sending us.” Darcy made a face. “I could never afford one of those standalone GPS’s that cost over a thousand dollars, either. Tony didn’t include an address, though, probably so we wouldn’t try to look it up online or something.”

Steve’s lips quirked up into a smile. “Think of it as an adventure, Darcy.”

Darcy snorted with laughter, but nodded in agreement.

*

Darcy and Steve had switched seats again. Steve was frowning down at the map now, eyes narrowing.

“We’re going into the mountains,” He suddenly announced, and Darcy’s eyes snapped to him for a split second before she refocused on the road.

“What?” She asked, frowning. “Why’s he having us go there?”

“I have no clue, Darcy.” Steve sighed. “Turn left here.” He added, pointing to the turnoff she was supposed to take.

Darcy turned left.

Steve continued to look at the map. “I think we’re almost there.”

“Thank God.” Darcy muttered. “It’s been fun, but I can’t wait to be out of the car.”

Steve nodded in agreement. “It’ll be nice to be there, to get our things unloaded and unpacked.”

They were silent as Steve told her which directions to take, the radio on low in the background.

“It’s just up ahead, Darcy.” Steve spoke up after several minutes.

Darcy glanced ahead of them, but all she saw was the start of a mountain range.

“I didn’t even know Tony would want to own anything that’s in the middle of nowhere.” Darcy commented. “Seriously, if we want to go to a store, we’ll have to drive for like half an hour.”

“I’m as used to the city as you are, Darcy.” Steve replied, flashing a smile. “It’ll be quiet.”

Darcy nodded, slowing down as another turn came into view. “Do you think we should take this one?”

Steve checked the map again. “I think so. It should be right after this turn.”

Darcy took the turn, then slowed down, glancing. around to see where she was supposed to pull off.

A driveway suddenly came into view. “This is it, Darcy.” Steve announced, leaning forward in his seat to glance up the driveway.

They drove up the twisting driveway.

“God, how long is this thing?” Darcy asked rhetorically. “I don’t see anything yet.”

“Keep driving,” Steve replied, unbuckling his seatbelt and trying to see further forward.

They took one more turn, then Darcy slowed to a stop, staring. “What the… What is that supposed to be?”

Steve blinked. “Some kind of house, I guess. That’s tiny.”

Darcy unbuckled her seatbelt and turned off the car, opening her door and climbing out. On the passenger’s side, Steve did the same.

“Should we grab our stuff or have a look around first?” Darcy asked Steve.

Steve frowned slightly. “Let’s have a look around first, Darcy. We can come out and get our things afterward.”

The two walked up a short sidewalk and to the front door of the house.

“Uh, Steve?” Darcy glanced around. “How are we supposed to unlock the front door?”

Steve carefully felt around the edges of the map he was still holding. “He might have… ah-hah, got it!” He pulled a key out from a folded bit of the map.

“I don’t even want to know why Tony put it there…” Darcy muttered, glaring at the map. “We’ll have to keep it so we can find our way back, or our way into the nearest town.”

Steve nodded, carefully folding the map and placing it in his pocket. “We can find a place to put it when we get inside.”

Darcy stepped back a bit, letting Steve put the key into the lock and unlock the front door.

The two stepped inside, glancing around curiously. Darcy suddenly stopped short.

“Why do you think Tony had us go to this house?” She asked. “It’s pretty small. Do you see any bedrooms? A second floor?”

Steve glanced around, frowning. “There’s a staircase there,” He pointed to a rickety looking staircase that was tucked into a corner of the kitchen. The house was set up very strangely.

The front door opened up into a slight hallway which lead into a small living room, complete with a fireplace, couch, small — for Tony — TV, and an armchair.

The equally small kitchen only held a table with two chairs, a stove, refrigerator and microwave. There was very little counter space.

In the corner of the kitchen was a set of stairs which lead upward. Darcy walked to the bottom and glanced up.

“What do you think is up there? Judging from how small everything is down here…” she trailed off, stomach twisting with nerves.

“There’s only one way to find out,” Steve said, coming up to stand behind her. “We won’t both fit side by side.”

“You wanna go first?” Darcy asked him, frowning a bit.

“Sure, I’ll go first, Darcy.”

They shuffled b little awkwardly, switching places. Steve lead the way up the stairs, Darcy just behind him.

When they got to the top, Steve glanced around.

Darcy could see what looked like a small bathroom, with only a toilet, sink and shower. Beside the bathroom was a bedroom. Steve walked to the door across from the bedroom, but it was a linin closet.

“Oh my God.” Darcy squeaked, face flushing with mortification. “he didn’t…”

Steve turned to the bedroom door and opened it fully. It was, like the rest of the house, incredibly small. There was only one bed, and it was… bigger than Darcy expected it to be, but still only one bed. A nightstand was beside it. There was one dresser, one closet.

“I know he meant well, but I’m seriously pissed at Tony right now.” Darcy told Steve, frowning. “We both might be able to fit on this, but our clothes and other things… where will we put everything?”

“I can take the couch,” Steve suggested.

“No!” Darcy refused to have him sleep on the couch. “We’ll… we’ll make it work, Steve. Let’s just… get our things and try to find places to put them.

Steve nodded, and the two went back down the stairs, through the kitchen and living room and outside to the car. They both got their few bags in silence. Darcy didn’t know what to say, her words failing her. Her nervous excitement had morphed into full on nervousness.

She and Steve…. sharing a bed, a closet, a bathroom?

Logically, Darcy knew she didn’t have anything to be nervous over. This was Steve, for God’s sake. Her best friend.

Still, thee was a little voice in the back of her head whispering that this — sharing a house and a bed with Steve — would change their friendship irreparably.

*

“So…” Darcy glanced from Steve to the bed and back to Steve. “Uh, how should we… do this?”

Both she and Steve had taken turns in the small bathroom, and now they were ready for bed. Now, all they had to do was figure out how to sleep next to each other without it being awkward.

She and Steve had fallen asleep together before, but that had been on her couch. One time, she had fallen asleep on his couch, too. They had never spent the night at each other’s apartment or anything like that; that was for girly sleepovers, not a friend who was a guy. He wasn’t her boyfriend, which Darcy supposed was what was tripping her up the most. She and Steve were best friends, shared things with each other that they’d never shared with anyone else. They weren’t romantically together.

Steve moved to the bed first, pulling back the blankets they had piled on top of the sheets back. He climbed in, and Darcy mimicked his actions, slipping in beside him.

They both laid on their backs, not moving much.

“Screw it,” Darcy muttered, throwing an arm over Steve’s chest. “Come here, Steve. We might as well just… you know, sleep close together. Think of it as… just being on the couch together, only sleeping on an actual bed.”

Steve didn’t move for a few seconds, then he rolled over to face her. Darcy turned, too, so that they were face-to-face.

“Just try to relax, Steve.” She mumbled sleepily. “Everything will be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, for all of your support.

Darcy woke up to someone sprawled half on top of her.

She groaned, one hand flailing out, searching for her glasses.

“Steve,” She slurred, fumbling for the nightstand next to the bed.

“What’s happening’?” Steve muttered into her neck.

“Can’t find my glasses.” Darcy mumbled back, half asleep. “Too early…”

“wha — Darcy?” Steve shifted on top on her, trying to get back onto his side of the bed.

Sometime in the night, they must have rolled, Darcy on her back and Steve somehow sprawled on top of her. Darcy was too tired to feel embarrassed.

“Do you see my glasses?” She asked Steve, who had managed to get the blankets off of them both and was getting out of bed. “Fuck, it’s cold.”

Steve shivered, but glanced around, trying to find her glasses, too.

“Found them!” He bent down, reaching underneath the nightstand. “They must have gotten knocked off during the night or something.” His face flushed. Apparently, it wasn’t too early for him to feel embarrassed about the way they had woken up.

“Tired,” Darcy muttered, yanking the blankets back over her body. “Come back to bed, Steve.”

Steve’s face got even more red, and he glanced away from her.

“It’s cold, Steve. Let’s go back to sleep.”

“Uh…” Steve set Darcy’s glasses carefully on the nightstand. “All right… I’ll be right back.”

He quickly left the bedroom, darting for the bathroom.

Darcy closed her eyes, wishing she was back asleep already.

She felt the bed shifting slightly as Steve climbed back into it, pulling the blankets up to cover himself as well as her.

“G’Night,” Darcy muttered to him, falling back asleep quickly.

*

The next time she woke up, it was to the smell of food cooking.

The place where Steve had slept next to her — had wrapped himself around her in the night — was empty, the blankets drawn back over her body.

Steve must have gotten up to make breakfast...

Darcy rolled out of bed, missing the warmth of the blankets as soon as her feet hit the floor. She got her clothes she was going to wear out of her suitcase — she and Steve hadn’t unpacked yet — and went to the bathroom to change and get ready for the day.

When she got downstairs and into the kitchen, Steve was just taking something off the stove.

“good morning, Darcy.” He said to her, turning to smile at her. “You were still sleeping when I woke up, and I didn’t wanna wake you, so I figured I’d come down here and see if there was any food in the fridge and pantry.” He gestured to the pan he had just taken off the stove. “We have fresh looking eggs, there’s some oat meal in the pantry and some cereal. We should head into town after breakfast, buy some more food.”

“Sounds like a plan, Steve.” Darcy smiled, sitting at the table. “No milk or juice?”

“No, there wasn’t much in the fridge.”

“We should write a list of everything we’ll have to buy at the store.” Darcy told him, and Steve nodded in agreement.

The only sound as they ate was the sound of forks on plates.

*

After breakfast, Darcy and Steve got into the car, Steve holding the map. Darcy would drive to the store and Steve would drive back to the house. They had written a list of things they would need to get, which Steve also held.

“What should we do after we’re done at the store and back here?” Darcy asked, yawning.

“We’ll figure out something to do.” Steve told her.

The two of them were still tired, but Steve insisted they not sleep all day; they would never be able to sleep that night if they did.

“I need so much coffee…” Darcy muttered.

“It’s on the list, Darcy.” Steve smiled. “We can make some when we get back.”

Darcy focused on driving, remind herself that there would be coffee soon.

“Uh, so, Steve?” Darcy asked, frowning.

“Yeah?”

“You brought the medication you’ll need, right? Like, will we have to stop and grab refills or something?”

Darcy knew his medication was a soar spot for Steve; he didn’t like talking about it, didn’t like thinking about it, either, from what Darcy could tell.

“I took care of it.” Steve replied, frowning down at the map.

“Okay.” Darcy tried to smiled for him, but conversations like this always put Steve in a melancholy mood.

“Turn here,” Steve pointed to the right turn Darcy was supposed to take.

“Thanks,” Darcy smiled more easily now.

The car was silent except for the radio, which was fading in and out, thick with static.

“I brought some movies we both like.” Darcy finally broke the silence, mentioning something she’d forgotten to tell Steve yesterday.

Steve glanced at her, then back down at the map. “Thanks, Darcy. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to watch them.”

“We can also see if we can find a bookstore, if you want.” She offered, trying to think of things Steve liked to do.

Steve only nodded, still frowning. He looked like he was thinking about something, but since he hadn’t mentioned it, Darcy couldn’t begin to guess what it might be.

“We can look around, if you want, when we get back. Check out the property.” She suggested, and this seemed to perk his curiosity.

They’d been to tired last night to check out what surrounded the house, wanting to get their things inside and get to bed as quickly ask possible.

“Yeah, that sounds like it could be interesting.” He agreed, looking a bit more enthusiastic than he had a minute ago.

“Great. Now all we have to do is get this shopping over with.” She muttered.

Darcy liked shopping — when it was for electronics. She knew which clothes went together with what, and she did like clothes shopping, she just didn’t like to do it very often. Money had been tight for a while, and she’d gotten used to budgeting what little money she earned. Now, with Tony paying her more money than she knew what to do with, she wasn’t used to having so much money in her bank account. She was saving some, of course; you never knew when you’d have an emergency and need some cash.

“The town is just up ahead.” Steve interrupted her thoughts.

“So it’ll take us about half an hour to get to town, then.” Darcy replied.

“It seems so.”

“Hey, I just thought of something we can do,” Darcy excitedly told Steve. “Do you want to pick up some board games? Some cards, too?”

Steve’s lips quirked up into smile. “That’s a bit old fashioned, isn’t it?” He teased.

“No way, dude. I played this stuff all the time when I was growing up.”

“Sounds like a plan, then.” He replied.

Darcy spotted a grocery store, which she turned the car into, narrowly missing hitting a curb. She’d gotten better at driving, sort of, but she still had the occasional almost-accident.

“We can ask a cashier or something if they have anything else around here.” Darcy suggested, glancing at Steve as they made their way into the store.

“That sounds like a good idea.” Steve still held the shopping list in one hand, reading it again quickly. “We need milk, some lunch meat, other met like chicken or steak.”

“Let’s head to the meat section first,” Darcy suggested, grabbing a shopping cart.

“We could split up, get things faster.” Steve offered, rechecking the list that he had to have memorized at this point.

“If you want to do that, we can, I guess.” Darcy replied. “We can take our time, Steve. We’re not in any rush.”

“I thought it might be easier, is all.”

Darcy stifled a sigh. she didn’t feel like arguing with Steve — not that she ever felt like arguing with him. He was still in a bit of a bad mood.

“Let’s just grab the things we need from the deli, then go down the list. It shouldn’t take too long.” Darcy compromised.

Steve just nodded, staying silent.

They went through the list fairly quickly, they had grouped what they’d thought would be nearby together, to speed up the grocery shopping.

They also bought ingredients to make homemade hot chocolate, and some teas and coffee. There was already a water filter at the house, so they didn’t need to buy bottled water.

When they got to the cash register, the cashier was happy to tell them where the nearest drug store was. The town was too small to have anything like a Walmart.

They loaded the groceries into the backseat of the car and headed over to the drug store.

*

They’d gotten a deck of cards, along with Scrabble and Monopoly. Darcy liked Scrabble, and Steve had been up for anything.

They returned to the house and decided to make lunch, then played a few games of Scrabble.

After that, they played a few card games. It was nice to do something new together.

“Do you want to play another game of cards?” Darcy asked, glancing at Steve. “We could watch a movie, or look up some recipes online to try and cook. Tony somehow got internet out here, don’t ask me how.”

“We could make some soup or stew since it’ll end up getting colder out.” Steve suggested, frowning. “I don’t know why Tony had to send us to a place where it’d only gets colder as a month passed.”

“Everywhere is going to get colder.” Darcy pointed out.

“We’re in the mountains now. It gets colder in the mountains, and we’ll get snow before everyone else, too.” Steve winced a bit.

“Damn.” Darcy muttered.

Steve nodded in agreement. “Let’s start making something, and we can play another game of cards while we wait for it to be done.”

“Sounds good.”

*

The stew they ended up making was delicious. They would have leftovers for a week, too.

They’d put some of the things that could be frozen in the little freezer that was underneath the fridge. They hadn’t been able to buy much, because they didn’t have the space to put it all. They’d just bought a little of everything on their list. There would have to be several trips to the grocery store in the time they would be spending here.

After a little more exploring, they’d discovered a door in another corner of the kitchen which lead down to a basement. To their relief, there was another refrigerator and freezer.

*

They spent a few days watching movies and playing different games.

They had gone to the back of the property, but there hadn’t been much of interest. There were some trees that they could have used for firewood if either of them could cut one down.

The mountains were cold and only getting colder. They had heat and blankets, and Darcy had finally convinced Steve to go shopping for warm clothes. He had a collection of warm sweaters, sweatshirts and jackets, along with several pairs of warm pants.

“This is pretty fun, right?” Darcy asked, sitting next to Steve on the couch. “No work, no obligations, no deadlines…”

“It is. I haven’t had a vacation in… since before the war.” Steve kept his eyes on her as he answered the question. “It’s very relaxing. The company’s great, too.”

Darcy felt her face flush with the compliment. “You’re not bad yourself, Steve.” She grinned. “I haven’t had a vacation since before Thor, before I interned with Jane. College was pretty stressful.”

Steve’s face got as red as Darcy was sure hers was.

“Thank you, Darcy.” He smiled. “It… really means a lot to me that you still… that we’re still as close as we were before this —” he gestured at his body. “— happened. Women before… they didn’t… they weren’t — didn’t really notice me, or want anything to do with me, other than — other than Peggy.”

Darcy swallowed at Steve’s words. “I think anyone would be lucky to know you, Steve. You’re a really great man. Your personality — your sense of morality — your kindness. They’re very… attractive.” Darcy’s face felt like it was on fire after her confession.

She’d just told Steve she thought he was attractive. Her stomach twisted painfully with nerves. Oh, God.

Steve was silent, his eyes wide. “You… you do?”

Darcy’s throat was tight, so she only nodded.

Steve was still quiet, just staring at her. Had she messed up everything between them? She’d just said the truth, after all. Steve was very attractive; it didn’t matter that he wasn’t in his post-serum body.

“I… have to think about some things, Darcy.” Steve got to his feet quickly, walking quickly through the kitchen and up the stairs.

Darcy stared at him, her eyes burning painfully with tears.

She’d made a terrible mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last scene wrote itself, guys. I guess my brain was sick of not much plot progression.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, for all of your support.

Steve didn’t come down for dinner that night. Darcy set aside a plate for him in the fridge, just in case he came down later and was hungry. Some of his medication required he take it with food.

Darcy called it a night early and slept on the couch. If Steve wanted to avoid her, she would let him, for tonight. Tomorrow would be a different story.

She regretted saying anything. She’d just wanted him to know that he was attractive, no matter what size muscles he had. She was attracted to his qualities. Sure, he was good looking, but his heart... that was what was the most attractive about him.

She worried, her stomach twisted in knots. Would Steve be angry with her? She hoped not. He hadn’t seemed angry, just... confused, maybe. That wasn’t quite the right word for what his expression had been, either.

Eventually, Darcy fell asleep, despite her racing thoughts and anxiety.

*

Darcy was woken up the next morning by coughing coming from upstairs.

She jerked up, disoriented.

She was off the couch and heading for the stairs before her brain had fully processed what could be happening.

She got to the top of the stairs, slightly out of breath, and knocked on the bedroom door.

“Steve?” She asked, worried.

She opened the door a crack and peered in.

 

Steve was laying in bed, tangled in blankets. It looked like he’d tried to throw them off during the night, which he never had tried to do for the nights they’d slept in the same bed.

“Steve, are you awake?” Darcy edged into the room, frowning. “You don’t sound all that great.”

“I’m fine,” Steve rasped, peeking out from underneath one of the blankets, his face flushed and sweaty.

“Um, no, you’re not.” Darcy replied, walking a little closer. “Do we have a thermometer?”

“Don’t need one.” Steve muttered, coughing again.

“You totally need one, dude. You look like you have a fever.”

Darcy made it to the bed, cautiously sitting on the edge. She reached out, but hesitated.

“Are you still… upset with me?” She asked quietly.

Steve frowned. “I… wasn’t upset…” He responded.

“You sure seemed upset when you came up here.” She explained.

She reached out again, but this time, made contact with his skin. She jerked her hand back, wincing.

“You definitely have a fever.” She told him. “Seriously, do we have a thermometer?”

“I don’t know.” Steve’s eyes followed her as she got off the bed and went toward the door. “Where’re you going?”

“To see if I can find one, and to make you some hot tea.”

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but went into a coughing fit instead.

Darcy darted down the stairs into the kitchen to make him some tea. She put a kettle of water on the stove to boil, then went back upstairs.

She didn’t need to check to see that Steve had a fever; his skin had felt pretty warm to her. She didn’t know how bad it might be, though. Her hands got cold easily.

She opened the linen closet; her parents had had weird places to put things, so she was used to looking in places you wouldn’t expect things to be. It wasn’t there.

Sighing, she stopped in the bedroom door.

“I can’t find the thermometer.” She told Steve. “On the bright side, the water should be boiling soon.” She tried to send him a smile, but was pretty sure it fell kind of flat.

She didn’t want to leave him alone, but what if he needed cold medicine or something? Cough drops?

“What do you need, Steve?” She asked, frowning. “I can try to get it for you.”

“Just tea is fine, Darcy.” He sounded so tired.

Darcy wondered if he’d gotten any sleep at all. She was usually a heavy sleeper; she could sleep through a lot, but she thought Steve coughing up here would have at least woken her up enough that she would have been somewhat aware of it.

The kettle whistled from the kitchen, and Darcy flashed Steve the best smile she could before rushing down the stairs to turn it off.

She carefully got two mugs, filled them most of the way with hot water and put two teabags in them.

She made her way back upstairs, trying to walk straight and not spill anything.

She entered the bedroom again and set both mugs on the nightstand.

“Do you want to sit up a bit?” She asked, turning to Steve. “Do you need more pillows?”

Steve forced himself to sit up, and Darcy propped pillows behind him so he could lean back against the headboard. She reached over and grabbed his mug of tea and handed it to him.

“Thanks, Darcy.” Steve murmured.

“It’s not a problem, Steve.” Darcy told him. “I’m happy to help.”

Steve cleared his throat, then drank some of the tea. “This is good.”

Darcy felt her face flush with color. “It’s just the stuff we got at the store,” she said dismissively.

Steve smiled, but it looked forced. “I don’t want to get you sick, too.”

“Steve, we’ve slept in the same bed every night since we got here except last night.” Darcy said matter-of-factly. “If I’m going to get sick, I’ll get sick. We’ve been pretty close, physically, every day, too. So if you got germs, I probably got them, too.”

Steve frowned, taking another sip of tea. “I’m… sorry about — about what happened last night.” He said sincerely. “It… caught me off guard, and I reacted poorly.”

“I understand, Steve.” Darcy replied, frowning. “I shouldn’t have sprung it on you like that.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Steve insisted. “You were being… truthful and complimenting me, and I… I didn’t know what to say or do, so I — well… you know.” His face was red, but Darcy wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or fever.

“We don’t have to talk about this now, Steve, you’re sick.” Darcy frowned. “We can just… put it off until you’re feeling better.”

“That’s not fair to you, Darcy.” Steve muttered.

“It’s okay, I promise.” Darcy forced a smile, hoping it looked more sincere than she felt.

She was telling the truth; she didn’t want Steve to worry about it when he was sick to begin with.

Steve took another sip of tea, still looking uncertain. Darcy could tell he wanted to continue talking about what had happened, but she just wanted him to rest.

“I can stay here, or go downstairs, if you want.” Darcy offered.

“You can stay.” He said quickly.

Darcy nodded, then went across the hall to the linen closet, bringing out some more blankets and pillows, which she set up on the floor.

She drank her tea, then sat on the blankets on the floor, leaning against the edge of the bed.

“Let me know if you think you can eat something.” She told him. “I can go down and make you some soup or something.”

Steve grunted in acknowledgment.

“Actually, I’ll go make you something now.” Darcy said, standing. “You didn’t take your medicine yet, did you?”

Steve shook his head.

“Okay then,” Darcy smiled. “I’ll be right back with something.”

*

They fell into a routine of Darcy getting Steve things he needed while he fought off the cold, or flu, or whatever he had. He’d told her that when he had first lost the serum, one of the first things they’d done when getting him back to Avengers Tower was give him vaccinations. Darcy had sighed inwardly in relief at hearing that.

She had had to make a quick — hour — run to the grocery store again to stock up on tissues and cough drops. She hadn’t wanted to leave him alone, but Steve had insisted he’d be fine. She’d told him to call her if he needed anything else while she was out.

His fever had broken the day after he’d gotten it, but the congestion lingered.

He was feeling up to doing more things a day after that, but he still had a cough.

Darcy walked with him down the stairs the first few times, just to make sure he wouldn’t need help for some reason. He thanked her, but insisted that he was fine

*

“I know you can do this on your own, Steve.” Darcy explained as they made their way down the stairs. “I’m just being cautious.”

Steve glanced up at her, forcing a smile. “I know you are, Darcy, and I appreciate it, I do, but I’m not an invalid.”

Darcy’s smile looked a lot less forced than his had. “I know you’re not, and I wasn’t implying I thought you are.”

They were at the bottom of the stairs now, and they sat down at the kitchen table.

“What do you want to eat?” Darcy asked.

“I can eat a sandwich. You don’t have to make it, Darcy, I’ll do it. You’ve been making me food for the past few days, you should take a break.” Steve insisted, standing from his seat and walking to the fridge.

Darcy’s shoulders slumped. She’d known he was sick by the fact that he’d accepted her help with things he could normally do; making food, getting up and down the stairs. He’d been getting better slowly but surely.

Darcy hadn’t really minded sleeping on the floor, because she was still in the same room as Steve. That night she’d spent on the couch had been lonely.

“What should we no today, since you’re feeling better?” Darcy asked. “You can pick this time because you’ve been sick, so the options were pretty limited.”

Steve smiled, pulling out lunch meat and cheese, grabbing the bread from on top of the fridge and bring it all to the table.

“Even though it’s cold out, I was thinking we could go for walk.” Steve replied as he started making two sandwiches.

“As long as we dress warmly, sure.” Darcy smiled.

She accepted the sandwich Steve handed her.

They ate in silence, Darcy picking up the sandwich fixings and putting everything but the bread in the fridge.

They went back upstairs to get dressed in warm clothes. It was November now, and the weather was only getting colder as the month wore on.

*

As they walked around the small property, they chatted aimlessly. It seemed to Darcy that their easy camaraderie had returned. Steve hadn't brought up the conversation they'd had the night before he'd gotten sick, and if he wasn't going to bring it up, Darcy wasn't going to, either.

“Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up soon.”Darcy commented.

“Yeah,” Steve replied, looking pensive.

“Got any plans?” Darcy asked.

“Not really.”

“We can do something together, if you want. Plus, Tony will probably do something, too.” Darcy offered.

Steve smiled, but still looked thoughtful and a bit sad.

This would be his first Christmas in the twenty-first century, Darcy reminded herself. It would be a bit weird if he wasn’t sad about it.

Darcy resolved to make this Christmas as fun for him as she possibly could.

She reached over and took his hand, squeezing reassuringly. She understood, well, as much as she could understand, anyway.

Steve sent her a smile, then he turned his head to cough.

“Do you think we should head back inside?” Darcy asked.

Steve sighed, but nodded. “It’s a good idea.”

“The fresh air was nice, though, right?”

“Yeah, it felt good to breathe fresh air for a few minutes.”

The two made their way back to the house, still holding hands. At least this hadn’t changed.

*

Darcy and Steve spent the rest of the day relaxing.

They ate a quick dinner, then decided to go to bed early. Steve could always use the extra rest, and Darcy would never turn down sleep.

They were sleeping in the same bed again, too. Darcy had insisted that if she hadn’t caught what Steve had yet, she probably wouldn’t.

They snuggled close, wrapped around each other for warmth. The blankets felt good, covering and keeping in their body heat.

Darcy fell asleep with a smile on her face.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I've done since my last update: Changed the title of the series this fic belongs to, added a short description to the series, edited the tags and decided on a total chapter count.  
> If you missed it, I wrote a one-shot companion to this fic. You can find it here:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/9383585  
> Thanks, as always, for all of your support.

Something had changed during the night.

Darcy squinted, but without her glasses, she couldn’t begin to guess what had happened. It was just a feeling, a sense that something was very, very wrong.

“Steve,” she shook his shoulder, trying to wake him.

When they had first started sharing a bed, he had woken at the slightest movement she made, but now, he could sleep through most things.

“Steve, wake up.” She called again. “I think something’s wrong.”

Steve groaned, pressing his face into her neck. Darcy felt her face heat at the contact, but ignored it as best she could.

Steve shifted against her, opening his eyes and blinking several times.

“Darcy?” He mumbled, still seeming to be half asleep. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure,” She replied, frowning. “I… I just feel like something’s… off.”

Steve carefully extracted his limbs from hers and sat up, eyeing the room suspiciously.

“Let’s go check, then. Gut feelings usually have some merit.” He pushed himself out of bed, and Darcy followed, shivering slightly without the heat from the blankets to keep her warm.

The two made their way down the stairs and into the kitchen, and Steve peered through a window, then swore.

“What is it?” Darcy asked, coming up behind him, trying to see over his shoulder. He might have been shorter now, but he was still a little taller than her.

“Snow,” Steve said grimly. “A lot of snow.”

Darcy swallowed hard. “What’s ‘a lot of snow’?”

Steve shifted so she could see out the window. “Holy shit… How’d we get that much snow overnight?” She squeaked.

Steve let a long, controlled breath. “We’re in the mountains, Darcy.”

Darcy gulped, but nodded. “Yeah, I… just — kind of forgot for a minute.”

Steve looked paler than he had the day before. “We’ll figure it out, Darcy, I promise.”

“I know we will.” Darcy said with more surety than she felt.

She had been tempted to make a joke, say that he was the man with the plan, but she knew it would upset him if she said something like that. She was just so… she didn’t like snow. It was pretty enough, she supposed, but she hated walking in it, hated driving in it, hated dealing with it in anything other than, say, a Christmas card.

“Did you notice any shovels down in the basement?” Steve asked her, and Darcy was jerked out of her spiraling thoughts about how much she disliked snow.

“I’m don’t remember.” She muttered. “I can go down and check.”

Steve crossed his arms, then uncrossed them, looking uncomfortable. “Yeah, can you do that?” He looked like it was costing him to ask, like he wanted to do it himself but knew he physically shouldn’t, considering he was still somewhat sick with his cold.

His Asthma had made the cold symptoms worse than he otherwise would have had, making his congestion worse and longer lasting. He’d had to use his inhaler several more times than he usually had to. He’d gotten a refill before they’d left New York City, so he wasn’t running out, but Darcy still worried.

“I’ll be right back,” Darcy promised, reaching over and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I won’t be too long.”

Steve squeezed her fingers back, but only nodded, glancing out the window again and frowning.

Darcy went to the basement stairs and flicked on the light. The stairs were narrow, even more narrow than the ones leading up to the second floor of this house were. She didn’t like them, and she knew Steve didn’t like them either, but they didn’t have any other options.

Darcy glanced around the basement, wondering where a shovel would be. What kind of house, especially where it snowed a lot, wouldn’t have a shovel for dealing with snow? A snow blower would be nice, too, but she wasn’t holding her breath for that particular piece of equipment.

She frowned as she searched. The basement was cluttered, as it had been when they had first discovered it. She couldn’t begin to guess where anything would be down here.

Sighing, she continued searching.

“Ah-hah!” She spotted what she had been looking for. “Steve, I found it!” She called in the general direction of the stairs.

“That’s great.” Steve called back, sounding like he might have been at the top of the stairs waiting for her.

Darcy smiled in relief as she pulled the shovel out of where it had been buried, the handle having been the only thing that caught her eye to begin with.

She briefly wondered how she was going to get it back up to the kitchen, but decided to lift it up in front of her, not wanting to risk her balance by having it over her shoulder.

Darcy panted a bit as she made her way back up to the kitchen, leaning the shovel against the wall as she made it to the top of the stairs.

“That’s done.” She sighed, trying to relax tense muscles. “Now all we have to do is… do something about the snow.”

*

“Ow,” Darcy groaned, wincing in pain. “I hate snow, Steve. Hate it.”

Steve’s hands were gentile as they massaged between her shoulder blades. “I know. I’m not fond of snow either.”

She hadn’t even made a dent in the snow that blocked the front and basement doors. She’d only tried to get the stuff that blocked the front door, but her muscles ached with fatigue just from the little bit she’d managed to shovel away.

Steve had wanted to help her, to take some of the burden, but he had had an Asthma attack and needed to use his inhaler when she’d let him try. She’d been so tired at the time, felt so inadequate.

She’d never been big on exercise, gym class in elementary, middle and high school the stuff nightmares were made of. She hadn’t been interested in sports, either, preferring books and computers to physical exertion.

Steve had been muttering angrily, glaring at the snow. He had been saying how if head had the serum, the snow would have been nothing for him, how useless he was without it.

Darcy had coaxed him inside, wanting to get him back into bed. She’d known how much Steve missed the serum, of course. She didn’t know how to show him that she didn’t see him any differently, even though his body had limitations now that it hadn’t had for decades. Steve was, in a sense, right, after all. The snow would have been easy for him to shovel away if he’d had the serum. It made her feel horrible for admitting it, even in the privacy of her own head.

They’d ended up back in bed after changing back into pajamas. Steve had offered to massage her back, shoulders and neck. He had told her, his face flushed with embarrassment, that the USO girls had taught him how to do it. They’d been tired after long performances, and Steve had felt guilty, so he had asked if there was anything he could do to help them relax. There hadn’t been anything sexual about it, he had just been helping the girls out. It had also been a way for him to learn how to control his new strength, as he hadn’t wanted to hurt anyone, but he’d had some trouble in the beginning. He had practiced on inanimate objects first, then progressed to the girls once he felt more comfortable in his new body.

Darcy had smiled as he’d told her the story.

“You’re so nice, Steve.” She sighed, half asleep.

If Steve had answered her statement, she didn’t know, because she fell asleep after muttering it.

*

Darcy was woken up sometime later by something ringing.

She didn’t move, confused.

She felt the bed shift as Steve got up. There was some rustling, then he made a triumphant noise.

“Hello?” He asked.

He was quiet for a moment, then he said, “Tony, what?” In surprise.

“We’re okay, Tony —” He started to say, then must have been cut off. “— look out the — What did you do?” There was exasperation in Steve’s tone, but he still sounded fond.

“Yeah, there’s snow — how did you know about that? — Darcy and I are — Tony —” Steve trailed off and listened to what Tony was saying on the other end of the call. “— Thanks, Tony, really. You didn’t have to send a jet for us…”

Darcy’s eyes widened. “He sent a jet for us?” She repeated. “Tell him we said thanks.”

Steve was frowning. “Of course we liked the house…”

“It’s a bit small…” Darcy muttered. “We do like it, though. It just took some time to grow on us.”

Steve cleared his throat, either from the slight congestion still bothering him or trying to get Tony’s attention, Darcy wasn’t entirely sure. “We really appreciate this, Tony. It’s been… relaxing and — has put some things into perspective for me in particular.”

Darcy blinked. What did Steve mean ‘put some things into perspective for me in particular’?

“It hasn’t been a month yet, Tony.” Steve’s voice brought Darcy out of her thoughts. “We still have a few days left.”

Tony must have said something in reply, because Steve continued. “We like it here, and you knew we would, eventually. That’s why you sent us here.”

Steve snorted. “No, Tony.”

Steve suddenly took the phone away from his ear and extended it toward Darcy. “He wants to talk to you.”

Darcy took the phone, a grin forming on her lips. “Hey, boss-man. How’ve things been with the sub?” She asked.

“She’s not as good as you and you know it, Lewis.” Tony replied.

“That’s a relief,” Darcy responded. “I would hate to be replaced.”

Steve made a face, his expression flickering into one that Darcy wasn’t quite sure how to read before vanishing.

“We could never replace you, Darcy.” Tony said seriously.

“I’m pretty sure you could, if you wanted to. I feel really appreciated, Tony, don’t worry.”

“You two should pack up your stuff.” Tony abruptly changed the subject. “Your ride will be there soon.”

“What about my car?” Darcy asked.

“It’ll be fine, I’ll have it brought back to the tower for you.”

Darcy sighed. “Thanks for doing this, Tony, really. It’s been… nice and quiet.”

Tony snorted with laughter. “Quiet’s not my thing and you know it.”

“I do know it.” Darcy laughed. “The snow up here is crazy. I tried to shovel some of it, but it’s hard to do.”

“I have other people do it for me.” Tony replied, sounding amused.

“Of course you do.”

“Get packing, Lewis.” Tony suddenly repeated himself from earlier in the conversation. “The jet will be there soon.” With that, the call ended, and Darcy was left holding Steve’s silent cell phone in her hand.

*

Packing their meager belongings hadn’t taken long. Things had gotten spread around some from when they’d first arrived, but it still hadn’t taken long to gather everything up and repack.

Darcy was feeling better after that massage Steve had given her and the nap they’d both taken. Steve had needed the rest, too, not that he would have admitted it to her.

She hadn’t been lying to Tony. The month — almost month — away from everyone else had been wonderful. Despite their — disagreements — over a week ago, things had gotten back to normal, or as normal as she supposed they were going to get. Steve had loosened up since they’d first gotten here, and she felt closer to him for it.

She’d stopped denying it; she knew she loved him. It had been hard, at first, to admit it to herself. She knew Steve had things he hadn’t worked out yet; issues he had ignored in favor of just moving forward. She hadn’t blamed him for it; she still didn’t. Steve’s situation was unprecedented. She didn’t expect him to move on romantically right away. She wasn’t angry with him, although a small part of her brain was still hurt over his rejection of her. She deserved to feel this way, though, didn’t she? He had, although he hadn’t meant to, hurt her.

She was trying to move past it, to accept what he was willing to give her. There were times, though, in the past week, where he would look at her, and she could tell he felt something. He would get a certain expression on his face, stare at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

He was trying to sort through his feelings, and she wouldn’t push him. If anything came of her feelings, if he returned them and they started a relationship, it would be worth it.

Pushing him would do nothing but force him to react, and he still needed time to process, to grieve his losses.

*

True to his word, the jet Tony had sent to get them was at the house in record time. Darcy and Steve loaded their bags, then sat in silence as the jet took off back to the tower. Though the nap they’d taken had helped, Darcy still felt tired.

She didn’t know what to say to Steve. They’d spent so much time together over the past month — since they’d met, really — that she knew this was inevitable. She’d think of something to say in a bit, she was sure.

She felt closer to him, sure, but she also was excited to get back to the tower, to sleep in her won bed.

She can tell Steve felt the same way, too. He hasn’t been avoiding her — not that he could in the enclosed space of the jet — but he wasn’t trying to engage her in conversation, either.

The knew they were both just tired. A good night’s sleep, in their own beds, will do wonders for them both.

*

When they arrived back at the tower, Darcy was surprised to see the majority of the Avengers waiting for them — waiting for Steve.

Tony stepped forward, his arms outstretched toward Steve. “Home sweet home.”

Steve winced, but smiled. “I missed it here.” He told everyone quietly.

Darcy felt so tired, she just wanted to get back to her apartment and sleep for a day or two, decompress. She thought Steve must have been feeling it worse than her, considering the fact he was getting over a cold. Steve was polite, though, even when he was tired. He wouldn’t just make some excuse and leave, especially since he hadn’t seen the members of his team in a month.

Clint and Natasha were present, too. Clint looked better than when Darcy had last seen him, but he had looked pretty bad then, so anything is an improvement.

“You look tired.” Natasha told Steve, but her eyes flicked to Darcy, including her in the assessment, too.

Darcy nodded. “Yeah, I could sleep for a week.” She laughed.

Steve smiled at Darcy’s comment, nodding. “I could sleep, too.”

Darcy blinked. She’d been sure Steve would want to spend some time with his teammates.

Tony raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Did you like the sleeping arrangements?”

“Hah hah, very funny.” Steve replied. “We were fine.”

Tony looked a bit disappointed. “So, you two —”

Natasha pointedly cleared her throat. Darcy blinked. She’d known, from his comments right before they’d left, that Tony thought she and Steve had more than friendly feelings toward each other.

He’d been right about Darcy, herself… Could he have been right about Steve’s feelings, too?

*

The group broke up quickly after that, each of them wishing Steve — and Darcy — a good night’s rest.

Steve walked her to her door, then offered a smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Darcy.”

Darcy smiled back. “See you, Steve. I hope you sleep well.”

“Thanks,” he replied. “You too.”

He hesitated for several seconds, then sent her another smile as he turned and headed down the hall to his own apartment.

Darcy watched him leave, then went inside, sighing at the familiar feeling of home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to follow me on Tumblr:  
> pieannamay.tumblr.com


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm putting the notes for this chapter at the bottom to avoid spoilers (that I haven't already given away in the comments).  
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter.  
> Thanks, as always, for all of your support. :)

Darcy spent the next several hours relaxing.

She sat in the quiet for a few minutes, then decided to turn on some music.

It was a bit odd, at first, not having Steve nearby, sketching, reading or watching something on TV. She knew she’d get used to having her own space again, it would just take some time. She and Steve would still see each other, of course, they just wouldn’t be living together like they had been for the past month.

It had felt weird, at first, laying in bed by herself. She’d expected to feel Steve’s body pressed up against hers, and he hadn’t been there. It had taken her over a half an hour to fall asleep, even though she’d been dead tired when she went to bed.

*

Steve had decided, after a lot of debating with himself, to go and visit with Peggy Carter. He’d known which nursing home she was staying in for a few months now, but hadn’t had the courage to go and see her until they’d gotten back from Tony’s house in the mountains.

Darcy had offered to go with him, even though internally, she’d felt uncertain and uncomfortable, sure that if she was there, she would only get in the way and make things more awkward for Steve.

Steve had quietly told her this was something he had to do on his own, and she’d felt guilty for it, but she’d been relieved.

Now, she was waiting for him to come back to the tower. She wasn’t entirely sure what she could do to help him when he did get back, but she figured she would play it by ear and see what happened.

Darcy had decided to bake cookies, mainly because she wanted something sweet, but also because she thought Steve deserved them. He liked sweet things, and she did, too, so what was the harm in baking him cookies?

She was worried for Steve, she knew he was feeling anxious about seeing Peggy. He hadn’t gone since he’d been found in the ice. She knew, at first, it had been too painful for him, then, he’d lost the serum and his life had spiraled out of control.

The cookies had cooled and been put away by the time Steve got back to her apartment. She’d asked him to stop by after he was back in the tower, just so she could see for herself that he was okay.

He was quiet, as Darcy had expected him to be, but he also looked thoughtful, and kept sending her glances when he thought she wasn’t looking.

“So…” Darcy started to ask, then trailed off for a second, unsure of how to phrase her question. “How did it go?” She finally settled on.

Steve was still frowning. “We had a nice conversation.” He muttered.

Darcy nodded encouragingly. “That’s great, Steve.”

Steve blew out a tired breath. “Darcy, I… I have to talk to you about — about what happened when we were in the mountains.”

Darcy swallowed, but nodded. “Okay, we can do that.”

“I know we should talk now, but… can we just… wait until tomorrow?” Steve asked. “It’s been a long day.”

“Whenever you’re ready to talk about it, we can.”

Steve relaxed a bit, but he was still somewhat tense.

“Want a cookie?” Darcy offered, standing from her couch. “I made chocolate chip.”

Steve only nodded, a faint smile touching his lips before it was gone.

Darcy brought out the container of cookies, setting it between them.

“Thanks,” Steve told her as he took a cookie.

“It was no problem.” Darcy smiled. “I didn’t have ingredients to make homemade cookies, so you get these.”

“Homemade cookies are better, but these are better than nothing.” Steve agreed.

Darcy took another cookie, unsure of what to say. Steve was clearly struggling with something, but if he didn’t want to talk about it yet, all she could no was stay close to him while he worked through whatever it was.

She wanted to get the conversation over with, but she it would be difficult for them to talk about what was between them. She didn’t know how to put it into words, what she felt for him.

Steve was still quiet. If he needed silence, Darcy could give him that, too.

She and Steve ate more cookies in silence. Eventually, Steve stood, and Darcy stood with him.

“Do you want the rest of these?” She asked, gesturing to the container, which still had several cookies left.

“Sure, thanks.” Steve smiled, taking the container. His smile looked more sincere, and Darcy was thankful.

“We can meet up tomorrow after I’m done in the lab with Jane.” Darcy suggested, and Steve nodded in agreement.

“Sounds like a plan.”

*

When Darcy got to she and Jane’s lab the next morning, she was surprised to see a familiar person standing in the middle of the room.

“Erik!” She exclaimed, rushing to the older man and throwing her arms around him in a hug. “I missed you!”

Erik was stiff in her hold for a few seconds, then he relaxed a little, returning the hug a bit awkwardly.

“Darcy, I missed you too.” He replied, but his voice sounded distant, like he wasn’t entirely engaged in their conversation.

Darcy didn’t find this behavior odd at all, both Jane and Erik got this way at times. The science would just take center stage in their thoughts, and it was hard for them to get out of science mode and back into reality.

Something that was a bit odd, though, was that Erik kept twitching, like he wanted to do something with his hands but was stopping himself. He also kept glancing at the chalkboard that was on one of the walls, as if he expected there to be something written that wasn’t there.

“Do you need any help?” She asked, frowning a bit.

She knew Clint had been a bit messed up from Loki, and had thought she’d known that Erik would be a bit — off — too. Knowing and seeing were two completely different things, though, and she was concerned for her friend.

She watched Erik as he and Jane talked. She understood a bit of the science involved in Jane’s research, but she knew she was much better at transcribing Jane’s notes than actually understanding them.

Erik was a lot more — twitchy wasn’t the right word, not exactly. His hands kept drifting to the hem of his shirt, as if he wanted to do something, but was restraining himself. His eyes kept flicking away from Jane, toward the chalkboard, then to other equipment strewn around the room. He seemed like he couldn’t focus on one thing in particular, his attention wondering frequently. Jane had had to repeat herself more than once during their conversation, which she hadn’t had to do before, when they were in New Mexico, and later, when the three had gone traveling, looking for funds and leads for Jane’s research.

Darcy wasn’t sure what was wrong with him. Clint hadn’t been this bad. Clint also was a trained agent, though. What had SHIELD even done for Erik?

“So, Erik,” Darcy tried to catch his attention. “Where did Tony find you?”

Erik frowned in confusion. “What?”

“He said he’d look for you while I was — uh — with Steve.” Darcy explained. “Where were you?”

Erik was still frowning and still looked confused. “I… don’t remember.” He finally mumbled.

Darcy frowned in response to Erik’s reply. What was going on?

*

Darcy’s mind was still on Erik as she made her way back to her apartment. She’d thought of asking Toy if he knew anything, but for some reason, she hadn’t.

Was Erik having memory problems now? He’d still recognized her, hadn’t seemed confused or like she was a stranger to him when she’d walked in that morning.

She wondered what she could do to help him.

*

When Steve arrived at her apartment a little while later, Darcy tried her best to push thoughts of Erik out of her mind. The conversation she and Steve were about to have would require as much of her concentration as she could give.

Steve was quiet. Darcy wondered if she should start the conversation instead of waiting for him to do it.

“So,” She said, looking into his eyes. “Yesterday went well, I take it?”

Steve swallowed, but kept eye contact. “It did.”

Darcy’s lips curved up into an encouraging smile. “I’m happy you were able to see her.”

Steve nodded. “I am, too.”

They were silent for a minute before Steve spoke again. “It was… difficult, seeing her — so old.” He sounded like it hurt him to admit.

“I bet.” Darcy replied. “It must have been a shock. You knew, in your mind, that she was old, but seeing it put it into perspective for you, right?”

Steve nodded again in agreement.

“She… got married.” He told her.

Darcy forced herself not to frown. She wanted to be understanding, and she thought she was doing a good job of it. She wasn’t sure how to respond to Steve’s admission. She reminded herself that it had only felt like months to him instead of the decades it had been in reality.

“That must have been hard to hear.” She finally said. “It must have been awkward, too.”

“Yeah.”

She could see that Steve was floundering, struggling under the weight of something he wasn’t sharing with her. She decided to wait it out. He would talk when he was ready.

“She…” He started, then trailed off for a few seconds to gather his thoughts. “She told me I have to move on.”

There it was, the part he was having the most difficulty processing. Darcy knew that what she said next would be pivotal in helping him.

“That’s wise advice.” She said quietly. “You should let yourself fall in love with someone, Steve. Some relationships end badly, but some don’t. You’ll never know until you try with someone.”

In a distant part of her mind, Darcy wondered when she’d gotten so wise. She’d had relationships, of course, in high school and college. None of them had been that great. Guys could be pushy, and if she hadn’t learned to put her foot down in a relationship, guys would try to walk all over her.

Steve was quiet beside her, his eyes drifting to the blank TV screen on her living room wall.

“This body,” he muttered. “It’s… I can’t imagine anyone wanting to — seeing past all of my issues.”

Darcy wanted to wince. Of course it came back to that. From what she knew of his past, before the serum, women had been stuck-up bitches. They had treated Steve like he was some sort of pariah because of his height, weight and medical issues. People could still be like that, but Darcy wanted to believe that some people would see past all that, to the man underneath with the heart of gold.

She certainly did.

Steve was still looking at her, although his eyes had darted away when she’d told him Peggy had given him good advice.

Darcy decided to come out and just say it. She’d already put her heart on the line once with him, what was one more time, if it got her what she wanted?

Swallowing her nerves, she turned so her entire body was facing him. She wanted him to see that she was being totally honest when she spoke.

“Steve,” She said his name to get his attention.

It looked like his thoughts had wandered away from their conversation, or he was thinking about something she’d said and tuning out the rest of the world. Steve’s focus could be intense.

His eyes focused back on hers. There was a question in them that he wasn’t voicing.

Darcy took a deep breath, another attempt to stay calm and keep her nerve.

“I have feelings for you.” She’d wanted to ease into it, but her couth had gotten away from her. “Like, romantic feelings for you.” She clarified, feeling like a stupid teenage girl.

Steve blinked, seeming to be surprised.

She knew she hadn’t done a fantastic job of hiding her feelings from him, although she’d tried her best in the beginning.

She decided, since she’d already told him her feelings, telling him the whole truth could only help the situation.

“It started when we first started hanging out.” She admitted. “It was, you know, just a dumb crush, at first. A crush on a guy who didn’t just see me as walking boobs. Someone who’s kind, thoughtful… cares what I think of things. Then, I got to know you better, and — it just got more intense.”

Steve let out a breath, forcing himself to relax.

“I…” He trailed off, still in thought. “I can’t say I haven’t thought about it, Darcy. You’re a beautiful woman who likes me as Steve, not Captain America. I felt — like I was being dishonest, somehow, and — I still had such a hard time — letting people from my past go. It wouldn’t have been fare to you — or to myself — if I had… pursued anything other than friendship with you.”

Darcy was still watching him, still processing what he’d said.

He’d had feelings for her for as long as she’d had feelings for him?

A part of her brain told her how ironic it was.

“Darcy,” Steve pulled her out of her thoughts. “If you want to, we — we can — uh —” His face was flushing with embarrassment as he continued to fumble his words. “We can go out — on dates — you know, as a couple.”

Darcy felt her own face heating up.

“That would be great, Steve. Really, I — I’m still processing the fact that you like me romantically.”

Steve smiled in reply, nodding. “Yeah, I’m thinking the same thing.”

“What do we do now?” Darcy asked. “Want to eat dinner> I could make something, or you could help, or —”

“That sounds like a plan, Darcy.” Steve cut her off, smiling.

“Great.” Darcy sighed in relief. “That conversation was pretty emotionally draining, wasn’t it?”

“It was.” Steve agreed.

“We’ll just make some extra food.” Darcy offered.

Steve smiled again.

The two made dinner and sat next to each other, as they’d done so many times before. There was a new sort of closeness between them now, though.

Darcy could feel it. They were both still very physically affectionate, still brushed hands, arms, legs.

It was new, and exciting, and it made her stomach flip with excitement that Steve was now not only her friend, but her romantic partner, as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really hard for me to write. It took a lot of thinking before I wrote scenes, which is why it took me three days to finish. Also, I wrote 'The First Time I Saw Your Face' while writing this.  
> I hope you liked it.  
> I guess there weren't really spoilers in the end notes. Still, I wanted them at the end.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of things happening. I hope you like it.  
> Thanks, as always, for all of your support. :)

Darcy was still having to remind herself that she and Steve were dating now. They were more than friends.

At first, the only thing that had changed was they spent time kissing. They still hung out a lot of the time, still talked, still went out.

Only now, instead of only doing things as friends, they were going on dates, holding hands in public.

Several weeks had passed since they’d become a couple. It was now the middle of December. Darcy had always loved Christmas time, the feeling in the air around the holiday. She’d already decorated her apartment, and was encouraging Steve to do the same for his.

She knew that Steve’s feelings on Christmas were mixed. He did like the holiday, but he’d never had much money. Gifts weren’t the point, they both knew, it was the religious aspect that was most important.

It would be Steve’s first Christmas in the twenty-first century. Darcy wanted it to be special, but she wasn’t sure what to do. She’d gotten him small gifts. She didn’t have to get him something flashy and expensive to show him she cared.

*

Steve picked out a small tree for his apartment, and Darcy spent time with him helping him decorate.

They didn’t only decorate the tree, though. They strung up Christmas lights in the living room window and put a wreath on his front door.

Darcy had wanted to do more, but Steve had said what they’d done so far was enough.

Darcy baked homemade cookies and they drank homemade hot chocolate. It was very relaxing.

*

Bruce and Tony weren’t having any luck recreating the serum. They’d been trying since Steve was first afflicted, but all of their experiments weren’t having any success.

Natasha had given Steve something to do other than art. She’d suggested that although he couldn’t be Captain America, there was nothing stopping him from still helping the team.

He helped with tactical analysis, observing the situations the team found themselves in and offering suggestions from a soldier’s perspective.

Darcy was happy for him, he seemed in a much lighter mood now that he could still help the Avengers.

Their relationship was sweet and unhurried. Neither one felt the need to rush into anything, they were both just happy to be together.

*

Tony had confided in Darcy and Jane, telling them that Erik was, in fact, struggling with the aftermath of Loki’s mind control. Darcy had suspected as much.

Tony wanted to help Erik, and Clint, too, but Clint was coming back to himself faster than Erik.

It was the SHIELD training, they all knew it.

Clint was talking to Erik on a regular basis, trying to get a sense of where the older man was at mentally.

Both Tony and Clint mentioned that Erik was doing much better than when they’d first found him.

Darcy still worried for her friend. If Clint could come back from this, Erik could, too, she hoped.

*

Darcy and Steve were going bowling that night. They’d gone to the movies multiple times, catching Steve up on pop-culture. Doing the same thing two or three times in a row got boring, though.

Darcy had suggested bowling, and Steve had hesitated, but agreed, saying it could be fun. He wasn’t as skinny as when he had first lost the serum, but he wasn’t overly muscular, either. Darcy didn’t think there would be any problems, and it would be fun for both of them to do something different.

They went out to eat first, because they were out anyway. They ate at the tower a lot of the time, usually when they’d go to the movies, they’d eat before leaving.

Neither Darcy, nor Steve, were picky about where they ate. A lot of the food tasted different to Steve, and it had taken him some time to get used to it. He still commented on it, at times, but he was adapting to the twenty-first century rather well, in Darcy’s opinion.

They talked about random things as they ate, the conversation was light, easy.

Darcy loved times like these; when Steve was relaxed and they just talked about nothing in particular.

“It’s going to be fun, I promise.” Darcy told Steve as they made their way to the bowling alley they’d chosen.

“I believe you, Darcy.” Steve assured her. “I’ll try to have fun.”

Darcy smiled in reply.

They exchanged their normal shoes for bowling shoes and both got a ball.

The rules were simple enough. Steve knew the basics, he’d just never played before.

They played several games, Steve winning more than he’d expected. Darcy was good at it, but Steve was a fast learner, and picked up on what she was doing quickly, implementing it into his own strategy.

They had fun, and decided they’d do it again, preferably when it wasn’t so cold out.

Neither of them liked the cold that much, still, and Darcy didn’t see that changing anytime soon.

They stopped and got hot chocolates on their way back to the tower, which they drank to warm up some as they walked.

*

Christmas was getting closer every day. Darcy had never gotten over the excitement the month of December got her into. Everyone was nicer — usually — around this time of year. There could be assholes, but people tried to be nicer around Christmas. Not everyone was religious, and that was fine. Darcy, herself, hadn’t been to a church service in years. Her family used to go to the Christmas Eve service when she was younger, but they’d stopped when she was around thirteen. She couldn’t remember why, specifically.

Steve wanted to go to the Christmas Eve service, and Darcy planned on going with him.

Darcy had looked up recipes online to some of the things Steve had likely had to eat around this time of year before the war. She was planning on making them for him, and trying them for herself, too. She was sure he’d like the gifts she’d gotten him, too.

*

Darcy wasn’t entirely surprised when Tony announced he was throwing a Christmas party.

She was excited for it. The team hung out more often than they used to, but it would still be something to look forward to.

Steve seemed like he was looking forward to it, too.

*

“I wonder if we’re supposed to do a gift exchange at this thing.” Darcy commented to Steve as they sat on his couch.

They were trying to alternate who’s apartment they hung out at, if they weren’t going out, that was.

There had been a press release a few weeks ago, explaining Captain America’s disappearance. People hadn’t recognized Steve yet, which was a good thing. None of the Avengers and associates wanted it getting out that he’d lost the serum, making him vulnerable.

There hadn’t been any kind of public outcry yet, either. The Avengers were doing their best to do damage control, to appease the masses and still do their duty.

In a sense, Steve had his anonymity back. He could go out in public and didn’t have to disguised himself, because people saw what they wanted to see.

Right after the battle in New York, people had been trying to get glimpses of Captain America, shocked that he was alive after all the time that had passed. The serum, which had already been haled as a marvel of modern science, had been brought back up in conversations with scientists and specialists all over the world. If it had the capability to keep someone alive, in suspended animation, for seventy years — what else could it do?

The sort of backlash there would be if it got out that Steve had lost the serum, had had it taken away somehow — they were leaning toward magical interference, but weren’t sure — it would be all over the news for weeks, months.

*

I’ve already gotten everyone something to exchange on Christmas.” Steve told her.

“I did, too, I was just wondering if we were going to exchange something at the party, also.” Darcy explained. “You never know.”

Steve nodded. “We’ll find out.”

*

Everyone who attended Tony’s Christmas party had a good time. Darcy saw Pepper, who she hadn’t seen much of, and talked with her for several minutes.

The entire team that was on Earth was there.

There were alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks to choose from, a lot of food, Christmas music.

It was only for the team and close friends.

Even Erik made a short appearance. He hadn’t stayed long, but he had showed up, wishing people a merry Christmas and happy holidays.

“This is great,” Darcy said as she sipped at her Eggnog.

Steve, who had just gotten back from a conversation with Natasha and Clint, nodded. “It’s nice.” He agreed.

Darcy smiled, standing close, but not touching Steve. Neither of them were big on PDA, the most they’d do in public was hold hands.

Tony suddenly appeared in front of them. “Are you two having a nice time?” He asked.

“We are.” Steve replied. “This was nice of you, Tony.”

Tony shook his head, smirking. “What else was I supposed to do?” He hesitated, then continued. “I was just checking up on you. I’m asking everyone, so you’re not getting special treatment or anything.”

Steve nodded.

Darcy sent Tony a smile. “You’ve been working so hard, you deserve a break, Tony.”

“I don’t need one.” Tony replied quickly, lips pressing into a line of discomfort.

“It’s almost Christmas.” Steve pointed out. “I — you and Bruce aren’t having luck with the serum, so… I don’t mind if you take a break. You both need one. It’s all you’ve been working on. You’ve done some things for your company, I know that, but… you’ve been focusing a lot on the serum, and…” He trailed off.

Tony blinked. “If you say so, Steve.”

He’d stopped calling Steve ‘Capcicle’ and even ‘Cap’, instead just saying some variation on ‘Steve’ when he and Steve talked.

Tony shifted, fidgeting. “Well, I have other people to mingle with.” He made his escape, walking over to where Bruce stood.

“Wow.” Darcy muttered.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed.

*

It was now Christmas Eve.

Darcy had surprised Steve with some of the things he’d had before the war, which she’d already been interested in, so making them hadn’t been a problem.

Steve had liked the nostalgia, being reminded of things he used to have without the underlying grief that came with remembering. He still missed Bucky, of course, but his grief wasn’t so overwhelming.

They head down to a church that Steve chose for them to attend for the Christmas Eve service. Darcy hadn’t minded which one they went to.

The service was like the ones she remembered from her childhood. By the end of it, she felt uplifted.

She didn’t plan on going to Church on Sundays regularly, but she made mental plans to go on Easter Sunday.

*

The next day, Darcy and Steve exchanged presents.

Steve had, ironically enough, gotten her a book of recipes. It had several from different decades. He’d also gotten her a new sweater, which she planned on wearing as soon as possible. It wasn’t holiday themed, but it had autumn colors.

Steve liked the art supplies she’d gotten him. She’d remembered the things they’d gotten together a few months ago, so it hadn’t been hard to get refills of things he would want. She’d also gotten him ingredients for hot chocolate and for making your own marshmallows.

They both tended to for deals on things, trying to find the lowest prices. Darcy had considered getting Steve more things, but reminded herself that the holiday was more about being with loved ones than the gifts you exchanged.

“They’re great, Darcy.” Steve told her, looking through his art supplies. “I’ll use everything, this was thoughtful of you. And the ingredients are great, too.”

“Thanks, I’m glad you like them.” Darcy replied. “This sweater is really cute, thanks for it. The recipes will come in handy, too.”

Darcy and Steve set their presents down on the floor. Darcy’s sweater was back in its box.

Steve leaned over her, and her heart sped up with anticipation. She knew his tells now, he wanted to kiss her and she was eagerly waiting for it.

She wrapped her arms around his back, and leaned up a little, his arms coming around her shoulders and smoothing down her back. His lips were soft, pliant as they moved together with hers. Kissing Steve wasn’t going to get old any time soon. She loved doing it, the way it started off slow, but gathered in intensity the longer they prolonged it.

They spent the rest of the morning just being together, occasionally making out.

*

Dinner was down in the common area kitchen, for a change. Everyone attended, and it was nice and calm.

They laughed, told stories of past holidays and ate good food.

*

The Avengers were called to assemble the day after Christmas.

Darcy and Steve were in the common area with Clint and Natasha when the call came in, relayed through Jarvis.

“They waited until after Christmas, at least.” Clint muttered.

Steve nodded in agreement. “I still feel like I should be going with you.”

“I know you do, and trust me, we all miss having you out there with us.” Clint replied. “You’re still helping, though. It wasn’t only Natasha’s idea that you help plan how we handle missions.”

Steve sent Clint a smile. “I know I’m helping this way, still, but — I can’t help wanting to be out there.”

“I understand.” Clint replied.

Steve turned to Darcy, giving her a look. “I’ll see you later?”

“You bet you will.” She gave him a smile.

Steve nodded, reaching out and taking her hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

*

Steve was gone for several hours, following the rest of the time via com and video, offering suggestions as they completed their mission.

There hadn’t been any long-term missions in a while, which Darcy, and everyone else, were grateful for.

The team was back before sunset, tired, but successful.

*

Steve took Darcy out to a movie theater that played old and classic films. There was a showing of one of the movies he’d liked from the 1930’s that he wanted her to see.

Darcy was interested in things that he liked, so she’d been excited to see it.

They still hadn’t gotten fully caught up on the pop-culture and historical events Steve had missed. Darcy thought it would take years, and she didn’t mind one bit. She knew Steve enjoyed getting caught up, as well. He would look up references people made to understand them, too, and the two of them would talk about them.

Darcy had seen _The Wizard of Oz_ as a kid. Steve mentioned he’d seen it when it came out, which she thought was cool.

*

“Are you excited for 2013?” Darcy asked as they were going back to the tower.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Steve replied. “I’m more hopeful about being in this century than I was when I was first found.” He admitted.

“I’m glad you’re more hopeful.” Darcy responded. “You’ve adapted really well, you know that?”

Steve’s face flushed, but he nodded, smiling. “You were and still are an amazing help to me.”

“I’ve liked helping you since we met.” Darcy told him, feeling her own face heating with slight embarrassment.

Steve squeezed her fingers at her reply, smiling until they got to her apartment door.

*

The next three days went by quickly, and it was New Years Eve.

Tony had offered one of his TV’s to watch the ball drop at midnight, and almost everyone made plans to take him up on it.

The team spent some time together before midnight, talking and relaxing.

Pepper was there, too, sitting next to Tony. Erik had declined, saying he’d rather sleep instead.

Darcy and Steve were sitting next to each other on one of the loveseats. They weren’t holding hands, but their bodies brushed together when one of them moved.

“It’s about time the two of you got together!” Tony suddenly commented, and Clint smirked.

“I knew they were together since before Christmas.”

“Seriously?” Tony asked, glancing between Steve and Darcy with skepticism.

“They’ve always been close.” Natasha added. “We weren’t sure, at first.”

“We’re right here.” Steve broke into the conversation.

Darcy snorted. “You’re all hilarious.” She said sarcastically. “Are we going to talk about Steve and I’s relationship status until the ball drops?”

Pepper and Natasha shook their heads.

Tony slumped back against the couch he was sitting. Clint sent both Steve and Darcy an apologetic smile.

There was silence as the seconds ticked by, counting the time until the new year.

“Ten minutes.” Clint informed them.

The people onscreen were talking about something, but Darcy tuned them out, anticipation for midnight overshadowing what they were saying.

Time seemed to crawl by at a snails pace.

Five minutes. Three minutes. Sixty seconds. The countdown began.

Darcy took Steve’s hand, squeezing his fingers hard. He squeezed back, glancing over at her with intensity in his eyes. For a second, Darcy wished they were alone.

There would be time to kiss Steve later, she reminded herself.

Thirty seconds. Twenty. Ten. Five… four… three… two…

“One!” Everyone in the room said at the same time.

It was now 2013.

“Happy New Year!” Was exchanged between them all.

Things wound down after that, people exchanging good nights and leaving for their apartments.

*

“You want to come in for a bit?” Darcy offered.

“Sure,” Steve agreed easily.

“We can hang out at your place tomorrow.”

Steve nodded. “Of course.”

They closed the door behind them and went to the couch. It was big enough for them to sit together, so they sat on it more than anywhere else in her apartment.

“I think I owe you a kiss.” Steve told her, and Darcy nodded.

“New Years Eve kiss.” She confirmed, winking.

They turned toward each other, Steve’s arms wrapping around her waist. Her arms went up to wrap around his neck, fingers flexing against his skin.

Their lips pressed against each others, the kiss chaste at first.

They’d done some experimentation, figuring out what both of them liked and what they didn’t.

Before things could get too carried away, St*re pulled back.

“If we don’t stop, we’ll be doing this all night.” He commented, and Darcy laughed.

“You know we’d both like it.”

Steve hummed in agreement, pressing one more kiss to her lips.

“That’s very true.”

Neither of them made any attempt to move out of their embrace.

“Happy New Year, Darcy.” He murmured, lips close to hers.

“Happy New Year.” Darcy replied back just as softly, closing the barely there distance between their lips.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter thirteen is coming along very slowly, so that might take till the end of this week to finish.  
> Thanks, as always, for all of your support. :)

Two months had flown by since New Year’s Eve. Nothing noteworthy had happened in that time. Darcy and Steve had gone out of the tower some, but they spent most of their time inside.

It came as a surprise to both of them when, one day in March, they were asked to come to Pepper’s office.

“What do you think she wants us for?” Darcy asked, frowning as they got into an elevator and chose the correct floor.

“I have no idea.” Steve replied.

When they got to Pepper’s office, she was sitting at her desk, papers spread out before her.

“Hi, guys.” She said, slightly distracted. “Just give me one second.”

She finished signing something, then gathered the papers into a pile, which she set off to the side. She then laid a newspaper down, turning it so they could see the headline and accompanying picture.

_Captain America No More?_

Underneath the title was a picture of Steve, as he was now.

The article went on to speculate, first saying how the ‘anonymous photo’ had been posted online. It was an awkward angle, like whoever had taken it hadn’t wanted to be noticed. It looked like it had been taken from behind and beside Steve, you could only see the side of his face and part of the back of his head.

How people had connected the dots was unknown. What mattered, now, was that it had gotten out, and they had to make a statement, explaining what had happened.

“How did this happen, though?” Darcy asked. “I didn’t notice anyone.”

Steve nodded, frowning. “I didn’t see anything, either.”

“That’s how the photographer wanted it.” Pepper explained. “They didn’t want to be noticed or identified.”

Steve sighed, looking tired. “What should we say?” He asked Pepper.

“As little of the truth as we can get away with.” Pepper replied. “They don’t need to know how or when this happened, although they’ll be able to connect the dots, if they dig deep enough.” She folded the newspaper, handing it to Steve. “I wanted to tell you myself before you saw it on the news.”

“Thank you, Pepper.” Steve’s smile looked forced, but Pepper didn’t seem to mind.

“We’ll get this sorted out as soon as possible.” She promised. “If we address it quickly, it shouldn’t spiral too far out of control.”

*

Steve was quiet when Darcy and Steve left Pepper’s office and headed back to Steve’s apartment.

“I don’t remember noticing anyone.” Darcy repeated her statement from earlier. “Wouldn’t one of us have noticed someone taking a photo?”

Steve shook his head. “I didn’t notice, either. I don’t — people can take pictures on their smartphones, and they don’t need a camera…”

“Yeah.” Darcy agreed. “Whoever it was, though, they knew what they were doing. Just — I wish one of us had noticed it.”

Steve sighed heavily, hand taking hers and squeezing. “All we can do is move forward from here.”

*

It turned out that moving forward from the leaked photo was easier said than done.

Pepper had helped Steve release a statement, but still, multiple news networks wanted interviews. Frankly, Steve didn’t give anyone an interview. He may have gotten comfortable in his old body again, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see himself on television.

Darcy understood, slightly. Steve hadn’t grown up with a TV like the generation after he’d gone into the ice had.

“They can’t make you do it if you don’t want to.” Darcy consoled him, frowning. “Plus, there’s not much to say.”

“Right.” Steve replied. “I’m making my peace with more than likely being like this for the rest of my life.”

“We can still have hope.” She said. “Coming to terms with it is a good thing, but you don’t have to give up.”

“I know.” Steve sighed.

Darcy could tell he wanted to drop the subject, so she let it go. If he was coming to terms with his life with or without the serum, that was a good thing. Having hope that somehow, it might be recreated, though, wasn’t a bad thing, either.

**

Steve went down to Bruce’s lab, because he hadn’t talked to him much recently. Darcy was working with Jane in their lab. He didn’t mind going alone.

When he arrived, Bruce looked tired. Tony was nowhere to be seen, so presumably, he was in his own lab.

“Hi, Bruce.” Steve greeted, smiling.

“Hi, Steve.” He replied, smiling back, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I wanted to talk to you, and Tony, as well, if he was around.”

“He’s not here. He said something about working on a new invention for Stark Industries.”

“I understand, I’ll go see him after we’re done.”

Bruce nodded.

“I wanted to tell you that you can stop trying to recreate the serum. I… I’m making peace with myself as I am now.”

Bruce didn’t look as surprised as Steve had thought he might have.

“I can’t say I’m surprised.” Bruce replied after a few seconds of silence as he gathered his thoughts. “You’ve been coping very well with its loss.”

“It was difficult at first.” Steve admitted. “I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to, when it first happened. I’d gotten used to having the serum, then… it wasn’t there.”

“That was a difficult adjustment for you.”

“It was.” Steve agreed. “Things are better in this century, much better than they were when I was growing up.”

“Yes, that’s definitely true.”

“I still feel like I should be out with all of you when you’re on missions, but helping tactically is still helping, and I’m glad I can still be a part of the team.” Steve admitted.

“We’re all glad you’re able to help.” Bruce replied. “Our missions have gone much more smoothly since you’ve been part of the team again.”

Steve’s lips quirked up into a smile. “I just wanted to tell you — you’ve been working so hard, both you and Tony — that you can focus on other projects.”`

Bruce nodded, although he looked reluctant. “We’re not giving up entirely,” he promised. “Just taking a break.”

“All right.” Steve replied.

“I’ll see you later, Bruce.” Steve told the other man. “I’m going to try and talk to Tony.”

“All right.” Bruce answered. “Good luck.”

Steve sent Bruce one last smile before turning and leaving the lab.

*

Steve found Tony in his lab, like he knew he would. Tony was looking over readouts of something on a tablet with music blasting.

Jarvis helpfully turned the music down, and Steve approached Tony, sending him a friendly smile.

“Hi, Tony.” He greeted. “How are things going?”

“Fine, fine,” Tony muttered absently, then his head jerked up, eyes fixed on Steve. “Where’s your shadow?”

Steve winced internally. “She’s working with Jane.” He replied.

Tony nodded, still not entirely paying attention.

“Uh, what are you working on?” Steve asked to change the subject.

Tony didn’t answer, his eyes fixed again on whatever he was reading in the tablet he was holding.

“Tony?” Steve frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Tony repeated, not looking up.

“I just talked with Bruce.” Steve told him, hoping to catch his attention again.

Tony’s eyes lifted from his screen and fixed themselves onto him. “How’d that go?”

“It went well.” Steve replied. “I wanted to talk to you, Tony. You’ve been avoiding me, and making up excuses when we’re in the same room to avoid talking to me for long periods of time. I thought we’d gotten past this?”

Tony’s eyes dropped back down to the screen in his hands. “I’m not avoiding you. Why would I want to avoid you?”

“Have you slept recently?”

“Sure have.”

“What is it, Tony?” Steve repeated. “We need to talk about whatever it is.”

“We actually don’t have to talk about anything.” He responded sharply.

Steve didn’t take offense. He knew Tony, knew his defense mechanisms.

“If you tell me what it is, I can see if I can fix it.” He offered.

Tony’s flinch was so minute that if he hadn’t been looking for tells, he would have missed it.

“It isn’t something you did.” Tony answered reluctantly. “It was me. Sort of me, anyway.”

“It’s the serum.” Steve stated. “I told you, take a break. It’s… it’s not bothering me as much as it did at first.

Tony snorted, glancing away.

“I’m serious. I’m still a member of the team and I have hobbies that I like. It doesn’t feel as — debilitating — as it did in the beginning. I’m getting used to being — like this — again.

“You and Bruce have been working so hard, trying to recreate the serum. Take a break, work on other things, more important things.”

“It’s still important.” Tony countered. “You’re Captain America.”

“I’m still Captain America.” Steve explained. “It’s just different now.”

Tony was still looking at his screen. “If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

Tony nodded, a clear dismissal. Steve didn’t move.

“You can go now, you’ve made your point.”

“I haven’t made my point yet. It’s not your fault, Tony. You’ve tried to recreate something that just can’t be recreated perfectly. I don’t blame you or Bruce.”

Tony nodded again, turning away. “Got it.”

Steve blew out a breath. “We’ll talk later. You’re busy.”

Tony shrugged. “See you, Steve.”

Steve turned to the door. “You’ve been helpful, Tony. You let me stay here, didn’t kick me out when I lost the serum.”

Tony scoffed. “Why would I kick you out?”

“I — I don’t know, I just — I was in a bad place when it first happened. I thought I wasn’t of any use to the team like this.” Steve admitted. “I know I’m still useful to everyone,” he added quickly. “It was just — it’s hard to explain. I… When I first woke up —” he told the other man slowly, not entirely sure he wanted to admit it, but knowing it was far past time he do so.

“It was… It was so overwhelming when I first woke up in this century. I — I felt like I didn’t have anyone. I’d lost everyone I’d known, the team had just formed… none of us thought we’d last. I didn’t want to bother anyone with my problems, I thought I could handle them on my own.

“Back in the ‘40’s, you just dealt with any shell shock you might have yourself, you didn’t talk about it. You knew men who had it, but… it wasn’t talked about.

“I know things are different now. The internet is a useful tool.” Steve paused to see if Tony had anything to say.

“Are you implying I have PTSD?” Tony quipped.

“More than likely, we all have it.” Steve answered matter of factly.

Tony rolled his eyes slightly. “I’m not talking to a shrink.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to.”

“Well then,” Tony gestured to the door. “Is this conversation over?”

Steve let out a slow, quiet sigh. “I just wanted to tell you that having a friend who will listen to your problems and talk with you about them helps. I… I wanted to offer, if you wanted to — you know — talk to someone who wasn’t a therapist.”

Tony blinked, surprised. He was quiet for a few seconds, seeming to be thinking it over. “Thanks for the offer,” he finally replied. “I don’t like talking about my feelings. I —” He hesitated, then continued. “I appreciate it, Steve. If I ever feel like unburdening myself, I’ll come find you.”

Steve nodded, smiling. “I’m glad to hear it.”

Tony glanced back to the tablet in his hands. “You can go now, really.”

Steve nodded again. “I’ll see you around.”

“Sure.” Tony responded, lost in the numbers on his screen.

**

When Darcy returned to her apartment and pulled out her cell phone, there was a text message from Steve. It said that he had had conversations with both Bruce and Tony.

She decided to go visit Steve at his apartment.

*

“Hey,” she said as Steve opened his apartment door. “It went well, then?”

Steve nodded, smiling as he stepped aside to let her inside.

“It went much better than I thought it would.” He replied.

Darcy wrapped her arms around him and pressed a kiss to his lips in congratulations.

“That’s great, Steve.” She told him as she pulled back.

Steve moved his head forward to kiss her again in reply.

They spend a few more minutes kissing. Darcy could kiss Steve all day if given the choice. She didn’t want to stop.

Eventually, Steve pulled away. “Want dinner?” He asked, slightly breathless.

Darcy released him from her embrace, and his arms dropped to his sides.

“Sure.” She responded. “You’re doing okay, right?”

Steve nodded, but Darcy watched as he pulled out his inhaler.

“It was my fault,” He told her after using it and putting it back in his pocket. “I — I got so caught up in talking that I didn’t use it earlier.” His face was flushed with embarrassment.

Darcy frowned. “You’ve never forgotten to use it before.”

Steve turned toward the kitchen and Darcy followed. “I know.” He answered. “It’s not going to happen again.”

“I know it won’t, Steve.” She said firmly. “It was an accident. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Steve didn’t reply, only started looking through his cupboards for something to make for dinner.

Darcy restrained a sigh.

“So, how long do you think it’ll take for that article to blow over?” She asked as a change of subject.

“Not soon enough.” Steve muttered, annoyed. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say. We don’t know anything.”

“Just say that.” Darcy answered. “We don’t know anything, and it might not be reversible.”

Steve blew out a long, controlled breath. “This is so…”

“Frustrating?”

He nodded. “It’s been months for us, so I understand people will need time to come to grips with it. It just feels pointless to keep talking about it when we have no answers. I hate letting people down, but… I’m not going to push for a cure. If it happens, it happens, but… I’m fine the way I am.”

Darcy smiled. “Try telling people that.” She responded. “I think, even though you don’t want to, you should do an interview. Say what you just said to me. People will just have to accept it.”

Steve hesitated. “I — I still don’t think an interview is necessary.”

“If you say it in person, it’ll have a bigger impact.”

He frowned, but nodded in agreement. “I know, I just… I’ve never liked giving interviews.”

“That’s totally understandable.”

Steve continued looking through his cupboards. “Pasta?” He asked, changing the subject.

“That’s fine.” She responded. “I’ll eat whatever.”

She got out a pot and filled it with water for him.

“Thanks.” He told her as he took the pot and set it on the stove.

“No problem.”

They went to his living room to wait for the water to boil.

Darcy turned on the TV for background noise as they sat on the couch.

She snuggled close to him, and Steve put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed.

He was a solid presence beside her as they watched a mindless show on television.

After the pasta — a>d vegetables — were done cooking, they ate in silence.

“I need to get more food.” Steve spoke up.

“You can just have Jarvis order it.” Darcy replied. “You don’t have to leave the tower. It’s great if you feel like being lazy and not going anywhere.”

Steve snorted, but nodded in agreement. “I’ll make a list of things I need.”

“Good plan.”

After diner in eaten and the leftovers put away, the two of them watch a movie.

It felt nice to relax, to unwind from the long day of note taking for Jane and Erik.

She slumped against Steve, feeling tired. “I could sleep right here,” she muttered.

He chuckled quietly, but suggested she go back to her place to sleep.

“I’ll walk you.”

“Okay.” She yawned.

Steve got her back to her door in record time, leaving her with a kiss.

“Good night, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said as he turned to head back to his apartment.

“Night.”

Darcy got inside and locked her door, then went straight to bed.

She changed slowly, tiredness weighing her down.

She crawled under her blankets with a sigh of relief, burrowing into the warmth they would soon provide.

She drifted off to sleep quickly, her last coherent thought of Steve and how much he’d changed from when she’d first met him all those months ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over thirty-thousand words now. I'm seriously proud of myself for getting this much written.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled with this chapter. I got writer's block a few times while trying to get it finished. I had wanted to do something differently with it, originally, but I just couldn't figure out how to write it.  
> I'm sure everyone's had chapters like that.  
> A huge thanks to Little_Plebe for all of her help and encouragement.

Steve ended up doing a very brief interview.

It was short and to the point. He explained that they didn’t know how the serum had been reversed, or if it was possible for it to be recreated.

Overall, everyone at the tower considered it a success. It was one less thing to worry about, one more thing over with that hopefully wouldn’t have to be repeated.

*

In April, Jane was requested in London for her particular expertise. Erik was going with her, too. Darcy asked Tony if Steve could come with them. He didn’t have much to do when the team wasn’t on missions.

Tony gave the go-ahead.

So, on a sunny morning, the four of them found themselves in one of Tony’s jets. He had insisted they at least use a jet to get to London instead of a commercial flight.

*

“This is like a vacation.” Darcy relaxed in her seat. “When’s the last time any of us were on a vacation, anyway?”

“I haven’t been on one in years.” Erik replied.

“Same. I don’t have time for a vacation.” Jane responded.

Steve grimaced. “I haven’t been on a vacation, unless you count Tony’s house.”

Darcy nodded. “We’ll make sure to do some touristy things while we’re there.”

There were nods of acceptance to her suggestion, which made her smile.

“We’ll have to get things for everyone else, too. Everyone likes souvenirs.”

*

During the flight, they all tried to get some sleep. The time change and jet lag was going to be a slight annoyance, but they could deal with it.

Darcy wondered why the people in London wanted Jane specifically.

None of them knew the answer to that question. They’d been suspicious, at first, but Tony had done some digging and come up with nothing.

Darcy decided to treat it as a working vacation. There would be work, and there would be fun, in equal amounts whenever possible.

Steve had been to London during World War II, but he hadn’t been there in this century. Darcy hadn’t been to London before, so she was looking forward to seeing the sights.

She fell asleep to thoughts of what, exactly, they might end up doing when they got there.

*

Their flight landed in London on schedule.

They’d been unsure of where they could stay for the duration of their trip, but Jane had said her mom lived in the city and would let them stay with her.

Darcy was pretty sure Jane’s mom hadn’t planned on her bringing three people instead~ of one.

Darcy and Steve ended up sleeping in the living room, but neither of them minded. It reminded them of their time in the mountains, which they were happy to laugh over.

*

It turned out that there were some very peculiar things happening in London.

The day after they had arrived, they’d done some looking around. They’d asked questions.

Erik had insisted that he go off on his own to investigate different places. He said they could cover more ground that way.

Darcy, Steve and Jane had ended up in an abandoned warehouse. Things would float or disappear, sometimes reappearing at random.

“That’s so cool.” Darcy laughed.

Jane was staring down at the scanner in her hand in awe. “These readings…” She muttered. “They’re just like the ones we saw in New Mexico.”

Steve frowned. “Do you think that means Thor’s going to show up?”

That caught Darcy’s attention. She’d been messing around with things she found to throw through the portal.

She’d never been this close to a portal before, sue her, she thought it was cool.

“That would be cool.” She told them.

“It would be more than ‘cool’.” Jane replied, still looking at the readings on her scanner. “Something seems off with these, but I don’t know what it is.”

Jane started to wander away.

“Where are you going?” Steve asked, concerned.

“I’m going to check readings in different locations in this building.” Jane replied absently, still walking.

“You shouldn’t go alone. Darcy and I will come with you.”

Darcy, who had started messing around with the portal again, was jerked back to reality.

“Yeah, Jane, don’t go wandering off by yourself.” She said, turning to face the other woman.

Jane stopped and turned back to Darcy and Steve. “Something’s not right with these readings.” She repeated.

“Okay, we’ll all go check it out.” Darcy responded as she turned away from the portal.

It had been fun while it lasted.

*

Things had spiraled into disaster.

Jane was missing, and Erik wasn’t answering his phone.

“What should we do now?” Darcy asked Steve, phone clutched in one hand while the other shoved things into the bag they’d brought along for the scientific equipment.

“We should try and find Jane. Keep calling Erik, he’ll have to pick up soon.”

“If he didn’t want to answer his phone, he should have just turned it off.” She said in frustration, wishing for a brief second she had a flip phone so she could flip it closed to show Erik how annoyed she was getting from her end of the phone call.

“Jane was transported somewhere… somehow.” Steve muttered, walking carefully around their current location.

“How are we supposed to find her if we don’t know _where_ she is or _what_ took her?” Darcy asked, giving up on Erik for now and shoving her phone in her pocket.

Steve was frowning, glancing around for any clues. “I… don’t know.” He admitted, walking over to stand beside her.

“This sucks.” Darcy muttered.

*

They’d stayed in that warehouse for hours. Jane was still missing.

“Should we… call the cops?” Darcy asked, pressing close to Steve.

They’d stopped and sat down close to each other. The floor was uncomfortable beneath them.

“I… guess so,” he replied, reaching into his pocket and taking his phone out.

Of course, knowing how their day was going, it was just their luck that the police thought they were breaking into the warehouse to do illegal things.

The# had just brought the handcuffs out when Jane appeared with Thor.

*

Thor kept staring at Steve. Sure, he looked different, but did Thor _really_ have to stare at him so _much_?

“What has happened to you, my friend?” Thor finally asked, still not taking his eyes off Steve.

“The serum was somehow taken from me on a mission.” Steve replied. “I’m still the same person, Thor. I’m just a little different.”

Thor was frowning. “I will look into finding you aid to reverse it.”

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but Thor had taken Jane, and the two of them had left Darcy and Steve alone again.

Darcy sighed. “This day keeps getting better.”

*

Unsure of what else to do, Darcy and Steve headed back to Jane’s mom’s house. Surprisingly, they found Erik there.

“When did you get back?” Darcy asked, frowning.

“A few hours ago.” Erik muttered, looking a little embarrassed. “My phone died, and I… forgot to charge it when I got back.”

Darcy grimaced, but nodded. “It’s okay, Erik. You had us worried, but… It happens.”

“Where’s Jane?” He asked.

“Thor took her somewhere.” Steve inserted himself into the conversation. “He didn’t tell us anything.” Frustration was edging its way into his voice.

Darcy reached out and touched his hand reassuringly.

Erik cleared his throat. “The Convergence is spreading.”

“What do we do to stop it?” Steve asked.

*

There were dark space elves in London.

They hadn’t been fast enough to stop the Convergence. They had scrambled, tried to stop it, but they hadn’t had enough time.

Portals were opening and closing at random, bringing more space elves and transporting people away to who knew where.

Something flew over her head, hitting the creepy elf that had been advancing toward her.

She turned to Steve and threw her arms around him.

“Thank you,” she breathed, brushing her lips against his.

“I gotta protect my girl.” He replied, kissing her back.

Their kisses quickly became more passionate. They didn’t notice the portal opening up and whisking them to a different location.

“Darcy?” A familiar voice asked, yanking her out of herSteve-induced haze.

Pulling away from Steve slightly, she stared for a second.”Jane!” She cried excitedly. “Where have you been? We’ve all been worried about you.”

“I was in Asgard.” Jane replied.

“I shouldn’t be surprised.” Darcy laughed. “Lucky you.”

“Not so lucky,” Jane responded. “I was possessed by something. It’s gone now, so we don’t have anything to worry about…”

“Other than those space elves.”

“Right, those.”

“It’s good to see you, Jane.” Steve said, inserting himself into the conversation. “Darcy’s right, we were worried about what could have happened to you.”

“There wasn’t enough time to explain what was going on.”

“We can talk about this later.” Steve told them firmly. “We have to do something about these elves.”

*

It was finally over.

Malekith, the leader of the dark elves, was off Earth. Everything was back to normal again.

Thor had returned back to Asgard after bidding them all farewell.

Darcy, Steve, Jane and Erik were all back at Jane’s mom’s house, trying to decompress after the very eventful few days they’d had.

“Remind me, next time I want to go on vacation, that insane things tend to happen on a regular basis. I shouldn’t take another one for a while.” Darcy commented.

“Tony’s tiny house wasn’t a bad vacation.” Steve replied, brushing his fingers over hers.

“You got sick, Steve.” She reminded him, flipping her hand over and interlacing their fingers.

“There was that.” He conceded. “Other than that, though, it was nice, wasn’t it?”

Darcy’s lips curved upward into a smile. “It was.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to read chapter thirteen.

They’d spent the first day after the dark elves left mostly sleeping. They’d all been exhausted. They’d called the team to let them know they were all okay. The rest of them had wanted to come and help with the invasion, but somehow, Steve had convinced them not to. Darcy knew he’d felt guilty for it, but by the time they would have gotten to London to assist, it was over.

If things had gone differently, she knew they could have really used the rest of the team’s help. For several minutes, they hadn’t known what to do, but they’d figured it out.

In the end, Darcy couldn’t say how exactly everything had managed to work itself out. She supposed it was just good luck.

*

The group left London a few days after the invasion.

They were all looking forward to getting back to the tower, especially Steve. He hadn’t mentioned it, but he’d seemed to miss everyone else. Darcy had, too, and she suspected Jane was feeling the same way.

Jane was melancholy over Thor’s departure. Darcy didn’t blame her, she understood how the other woman was feeling, at least theoretically.

She didn’t plan on telling Jane that everything would be okay, that she’d see Thor soon. For all they knew, it could be months -- or years -- until he was back on Earth.

“We’ll get back to doing research when we’re back at the tower.” She said to the other woman, trying to be reassuring.

Jane only nodded, frowning.

*

The flight back to New York was uneventful. The four of them ended up getting some more sleep.

Darcy had tried to start a card game, but both Jane and Erik were quiet and disinterested, so she and Steve played a quiet game. If Jane and Erik wanted to be left alone for a while, she wouldn’t bother them. They had all been in close quarters lately, so having some space wasn’t that strange of a concept.

She and Steve played several different card games to pass the time. When they got tired of cards, they read silently.

They were all getting somewhat antsy, looking forward to being at the tower again.

When the jet touched down on top of Avengers tower, everyone breathed a silent sigh of relief.

Things would go back to normal now, Darcy was sure of it.

*

Once the four of them were back in the tower, everyone met up in the common area to talk.

Darcy had missed the rest of the team, and she knew Steve had, too. Jane wasn’t as close with everyone, but she was polite. Erik tended to still keep to himself. He talked to Clint,but that didn’t happen as frequently as Clint would have liked. Both astrophysicists stuck to the labs more than anywhere else, despite Darcy trying to get them to interact more often with people.

“So, I see you’re all in one piece.” Tony quipped, his eyes taking them in. “No bruises?”

“Not really.” Steve replied, giving Tony a look that Darcy could only describe as fondly exasperated.

“That’s good, that’s good…”

“We could have helped, Steve.” Natasha entered the conversation, giving Steve a glare. “You know it would have been easier with all of us there.”

Steve rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I… I know. There wasn’t time. I made the wrong call and I know it.” He glanced at Jane. “Darcy and I were a bit caught up in trying to figure out what had happened to Jane. Then, after hours of worrying and waiting, she and Thor reappeared, and everything went to hell.”

Bruce was frowning. “What happened in London, Steve? There’s only so much we can piece together from the news.”

Steve let out a long breath, forcing himself to relax. Darcy reached over and placed her hand over his.

“It’s a long and confusing story.” He told the group.

“Try to tell it.” Clint replied. His lips were compressed into a tight line of irritation. “We had no clue what was happening.”

Steve nodded. “I’ll do my best at explaining.”

*

After explanations, everyone was calmer about things. There were smiles and jokes.

Tony teased Darcy and Steve, but they both knew he didn’t mean anything by it.

They’d all missed each other, that much was obvious.

After an hour or so of conversation and relaxing, people started to head back to their apartments for some sleep. It had been a long day for all of them.

*

They quickly fell back into their old routines after returning. Darcy was back assisting Jane, Tony and Bruce, and Steve was helping where he could.

Darcy Knew he still had a lot of free time, which he spent working on pieces of art. He was thinking about selling them.

She liked what he did, how he drew or painted things so you could see what he was seeing when he was working on it.

She would support him in whatever he decided to do.

*

A few days later found the two of them at Steve’s apartment.

“I think you should go for it.” She told him, glancing to the pictures he’d hung up. “People would like them, Steve, I know they would.”

“I can’t decide what to sell and what to keep.”

Darcy frowned, considering the question seriously.

“Are there any you feel like you just can’t sell?”

He nodded, but didn’t elaborate.

“Well, sell the ones you don’t feel the need to keep. I know you like all of them, but just keep the ones you _know_ you can’t let go of.”

He nodded again, but was still silent.

“Which ones do you know for sure you want to keep?”

“I was going to ask you today, anyway, but this is as good a time as any.”He changed the subject. “Darcy, would you -- Could I draw you?”

Darcy blinked. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” Steve reached over and took her hand. “In all honesty, I’ve wanted to draw you since we met.”

Darcy felt her face flush. “You’re not going to draw me naked, are you?” She teased.

Steve’s face flushed as red as hers. “No.”

“It was a joke. You’ve seen _Titanic_.”

His face was still flushed with embarrassment. “I have.”

“You can draw me if you want. It might be fun. I can sit still for it, I promise.” Her lips quirked up into a smirk. “Can you make it worth it, though?”

Steve stood, then moved so he was in front of her. “I can definitely make it worth it for you.” He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers.

Before the kiss could go far, he’d pulled away and crossed the room to grab supplies.

“I’m holding you to that, Rogers.” Darcy smiled.

As he drew her, her mind wandered. She was still amazed at everything that had happened since she’d moved into the tower. Steve was the best thing to happen to her in a long time. He was her best friend, and he loved her, and she loved him in return. Their relationship wasn’t perfect. She knew they would have arguments over things, but they could make it work if they tried hard enough.

Whatever came their way, they could survive it, as long as they had each other.

****

It was summer again.

This was his favorite season. He didn't have to deal with the cold, which he disliked on a visceral level ever since he'd been found in the ice last year.

He’d gotten sick during winter in the past, before he’d gotten the serum, and since he’d lost it, he’d gotten sick this past winter. He hadn’t gotten as ill as he had in the past, but it had been unpleasant.

His relationship with Darcy was still going strong. He knew she was the girl for him. The way they’d instantly connected, back when they had first met… Their friendship had naturally evolved into romance, and he couldn’t have been happier about it.

He’d come to terms with no longer having the serum, too. It had been hard, at first, the adjustment taking months. He’d still held out hope, in the beginning, that there would be some miracle. He would have his new-old body back, and everything would go back to normal. He would be an Avenger again.

It had taken a lot of soul searching, but he had come to terms with the fact that he may never get the serum back.

Then, Thor had returned, and had promised that he’d look into reversing what had been done to Steve.

His hope had returned, but so far, there had been no other word from the alien god.

If it happened, then it happened.

For now, he would just keep doing what he’d been doing before they’d gone to London. Being the tactical analyst for the Avengers was rewarding in its own right. He also had his artistic talent, which was selling well.

He still had Darcy and his friends.

For now, he was content enough with his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finished! I have plans for a sequel, but I'm going to take a break for a bit before writing it. My original plans changed, but I still like the idea for it.  
> Thank you, everyone, for all of your support. It really means a lot to me.  
> I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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